time

If you look back on your life and feel like you're an idiot, here's what I wrote. Still, life is better than ever.

I found a poem I wrote 6 months ago

It's start with "How can I ever love again?"

Then 3 months later I found myself on a date

It took 3 months and it was harsh

But It was way better than the old one

We broke up one week ago but

I learned I can love better

I found a song I listened last year

It was on my "all time favorites" list

But now I don't remember the song's artist

Or what was I thinking or dreaming while listening

I found a message from 5 months ago

It says "I will never date with a Pisces again"

Guess Universe's sense of humor is bad

Anyway I guess you can imagine what later happened

One of my ex friends texted me other day

"Do you remember what happened on last May?"

I was in hospital cause of my attempting to leave everything away

That's how life is working and it's not easy

You are just so young and don't get so dizzy

There are so many things I'll swore and still do it again

A lot can happen in just a random Sunday

But you crying over a dude who is probably gay

But still okay, he have time to accept and admit himself

2 months ago I thought I'll pack my things to go to college

Then some random night I found myself on Deutschland

Had the best time without the Uncle Sam

"Ah close your ears we are going to Amsterdam"

In his pocket when I saw a diamond ring

I thought we were gonna marry someday in Spring

But he ended everything in less than a blink

I called my best friend to say I got kicked out of the house

She said we can't see each other anymore cause of her cheater spouse

I knew she would leave me for her own family

But I still screamed "WE WERE TOGETHER SINCE THE ACADEMY."

I thought I couldn't breathe turns out that place was smelling really bad

I thought there was a problem cause I can't remember my past

Then I made a mistake like reading my old cast

Turns out my brain is helping me to leave it all fast

Now I'm needy and lonely more than ever

And Pisces left me cause he don't want a lover

But it's okay he left good lessons too

Which he was my favorite in all the blue

Now I don't have any money or a job

But I'm too honest to rob a bank

And I feel like if I ask for a loan,

There won't be no one I talk

I found a picture from my past

And she deserved the best of bests

I feel like a clown no one laughs at

But I know I will find a way to smile again

Reviews

[Marie]

Our journey through life is a very long and hazardous one. So many things can happen to cause unhappiness, but time is a great healer and the older we get the more we know that to be true and one day you will find that you have the biggest smile on your face, because you have found your one and only. Right now, concentrate on your studies, find a part time job to help financially and stop looking for love, then one day love will surprise you. You will kiss many frogs before one turns into your Prince! He will be well worth waiting for. Once you enjoy good health, that is the most important thing, the rest will fall into place when the time is right. Finely penned, I enjoyed the journey with you on part of the road of life. Thank you for sharing, Berenonur! Hold your head up high, be proud of YOU!

[berenongur]

ahh im gonna cry but cause of happiness this time. you are such a sweel soul cause you take care of people's feelings(and not a lot of people have that) searching for love its not about a guy, its about loving yourself more. and your comment made me motivated to study harder. i will. love is not something to chase already, love is all around of us. i love you thank you so much for every word

[Marie]

Most welcome, Berenongur. One must learn to love themselves first, before they can love another person, your words are so true. I am delighted you will study harder and carve out a niche for yourself in the line of work you would like to do, once you qualify. Yes, love is all around us and more than that, love is within us. We are beings of light and love wrapped in a blanket of flesh! Sending beautiful Angel Blessings your way, with love to you too. Wishing you a very nice day filled with great joy, beautiful sunshine, good health, happiness - enjoy, dear Berenongur...

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

well, im kind of in a similar situation. mentally, im not well. havent attempted but i was hospitalised. the world has turned against me. im alone, no real friends, and my family have abandoned me. the one thing keeping me together is my writing. despite everything, i have been working on a project and that has given me joys without compare. i hope we can get through this. i hope you will find your one.
in this verse, you've described how many ways you have grown. you have talked about how you have survived the worst and still bounced back. this was an incredible memoir. while it doesnt have a happy ending yet, i will continue to read your work and i hope to one day read about your fairtytale ending.

[berenongur]

today is the anniversary of my father's death and also my birthday.

and i am going through the hardest time of my life and there will always be good and bad times in life, there are. it is strange to think that i am better even as i write this but reading this still gives me hope. and let me say this; there will always be poems that we will read and there will always be words that we will say and that is called hope.
just reading your comment right now made me feel such peace inside me, even simple thanks make me smile and we will laugh more.

one day we will read each other's winning poems together and be happy, we will continue to write until that day. and i want to be your real friend.
you are a muse. take care my friend.
always here for you. None of us are alone. As long as we live there is always hope.

thank you for reading

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks for your message. i just read your wonderful tribute to your father. i left a more detailed comment under it, but i lost my mother this year and i am staggering through the stages of grief - on top of mental illness and other bs. so yeah, at least it doesnt get worse than this.

but im glad i found this site and found your page. reading work like this does help. and i'll post more when i feel ready.

[berenongur]

i am here, we are here. take all the time you need. winter will pass and sun will rise again.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A few of your sentences in the verse seem disjointed. I would suggest a thorough proofread aloud and see if you are writing exactly what you mean to say to the reader. The syntax is slightly askew. As for content I think it's a more common situation than you probably believe. We all doubt ourselves at some point and fail and fall. But it isn't our failings or defeats that define us as people but our resilience and ability to get back up again, stronger than ever. I have every faith you will be able to do so. Bless, F.

[berenongur]

Thank you for your belief and comments. English is not my mother tongue and I am trying to improve myself in English literature. I am grateful for your real constructive criticism on this subject. It is very valuable that you believe in me. Thank you. Merry Christmas!

[Chris]

THIS one reminds me of, "Life as we live it is seldom how we want it."

[berenongur]

or "Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans"
this made me think again about this poem, thank you for your time

[Chris]

You're welcome.

[emmajoygreen]

In spite of the tumult in your life, the sad events, the let downs and fed ups and all else, you managed to use a fine rhyming balance with a near story... almost a tragedy but somehow brought into the now with a touch of defiance at the end!

That said, in all honesty, I don't know if all the stress and knock backs you've managed to include are true.. if they are.. a century of remedies on the way, my friend. But if this is reliant on a vivid yet sensitive imagination, you have created what could be so easily but tragically true, start to finish and did it with amazing language and form. Loud applaud and a huddle of floral bouquets.

[berenongur]

ahh this really really made me so happy. I like writing these texts in the form of storytelling because sometimes we get so lost in our feelings that we forget what the event is and we don't realize that all people experience the same things and that we are not alone. Everyone may feel differently about the same event, but sometimes seeing the similarities between the things we experience makes us feel understood. I am so glad you liked my writing style. I am sending you lots of happiness, may the most beautiful flowers be yours.

[Everett Dulin]

A beautiful love letter to teenage years, a comedy like no other. Things do get hard, life sucks. That’s the beauty in it. You capture that feeling well, properly moving. Good job! I hope to see more of your work in the future.

[berenongur]

ahh thank you so much. that made me feel a lot better. have the best day

[Ken Simm.]

Interesting travel through views and memories on and of so many things. This verges on the epic and that is no bad thing.

[berenongur]

thank you so much, i believe so

[Thomas W Case]

Beautiful work. Powerful and poignant.

[berenongur]

thank you so much sir

[fallon]

There is a novel in this poem. Once you do find love, I hear the key to a long love is a short memory, so one day your ability to forget and move on might help! You portray that endless cycle of searching for love so well. I enjoyed reading it.

[berenongur]

thank you so muchh it really matters

[Tumi]

too poignant too too poignat, heartbreaks, pains and agony well depicted
the feelings emotions well written
and i feel its real
like so sad,
very good

[berenongur]

ahh thank you so so much, i love your work. this matters a lot