whiff

after all the nights i wasted

all the birthdays i hated

there is just one who fainted with that whiff

all the lies ive been telling

was just preparing my ending

and they never liked my breathing

in the doors i used to close

there is my blooded rose

who smells them, who knows

things i used to do for fun

felt like made me just a none

i can't wait for the sun anymore

"If you're not going to get your life together,

you need to leave this house"

I've fallen on the same roads before

but at least now there's no one to push

Now I cook my own food, I sew my own wound

has they ever found a cure for that?

I've fought the same foes before,

but they were more cruel yesterday

Now my words are sharper, cause they shot the archer

but who's going to pay my debt?

Reviews

[A.H.]

it reads like the author has bitter-sweet memories with kith and kin. the good memories, not so good ones, failed connections, some disappointments, some expectations all come together in this write. the way poems starts with some disappointments and ends in solitude and questions. I like the way it read and takes the reader to ponder more about the situation. Thanks for sharing, berenongur.

[Beren]

Oh dear thank you so much, It is very meaningful for someone to thank me for my writing when I am someone who feels that such.

[A.H.]

you're very welcome :)

[Soren]

The process of finding oneself and fighting those that want us to be something else. The acceptance of being on one's own and taking care of oneself all part of growing up not in years but in life. A very descriptive poem of hard knocks and being who one is. There are themes of loneliness and isolation but also of strength and perseverance. Gritty is the feel I get. Well worded and nicely done.

[Beren]

You always understand what I meant in my poems sir! Thank you so much for your time! Your comments means a lot to me! Even in a comment you choose your words so deeply!

[W. Barrett Munn]

There is much to admire here, the subtle slant rhymes, the structure change from tercets to quatrains. Well done.

[Beren]

Wow thank you so much sir! English is not my first language so I’m still learning about English literature. Thank you for your time!

[W. Barrett Munn]

I can't imagine writing in a non-native language. I'm not that talented. Congratulations to you.

[Beren]

thank you so much sir