whiff

after all the nights i wasted

all the birthdays i hated

there is just one who fainted with that whiff

all the lies ive been telling

was just preparing my ending

and they never liked my breathing

in the doors i used to close

there is my blooded rose

who smells them, who knows

things i used to do for fun

felt like made me just a none

i can't wait for the sun anymore

"If you're not going to get your life together,

you need to leave this house"

I've fallen on the same roads before

but at least now there's no one to push

Now I cook my own food, I sew my own wound

has they ever found a cure for that?

I've fought the same foes before,

but they were more cruel yesterday

Now my words are sharper, cause they shot the archer

but who's going to pay my debt?

Reviews

[A.H.]

it reads like the author has bitter-sweet memories with kith and kin. the good memories, not so good ones, failed connections, some disappointments, some expectations all come together in this write. the way poems starts with some disappointments and ends in solitude and questions. I like the way it read and takes the reader to ponder more about the situation. Thanks for sharing, berenongur.

[Beren]

Oh dear thank you so much, It is very meaningful for someone to thank me for my writing when I am someone who feels that such.

[A.H.]

you're very welcome :)

[Chris Shaw]

Better to live alone than be with a wrecking ball. At least then you are in control of your own life instead of watching someone else destroy theirs while you are caught up in the collateral damage. I felt your emotional pain here. I have been in this position myself many years ago. Things got alot better once he left and I grew stronger too. Enjoyed reading you today.

Chris

[Beren]

Proud of you ma'm! thank you for sharing your story with me. I left before that wrecking ball tore my soul apart. Thanks for visiting

[Einstein Noodle]

life on one's own is not easy .. we feel lonely in crowds .. lonely so it aches at home where love should prevail ... but once we understand the difference between lonely and alone ... we look up to bright new days with courage and conviction ... again .. love the honesty and deeply expressed pain and loss of too many things for one young person
E.

[Beren]

I understand. Honestly, this poem is the thing that has been with me the most in this period of my life and has given me strength. I am glad I wrote it. Time has passed but its effect has not. I am very glad you liked it.

thank you for your visit and the best kind comments

[MCS]

These words hit close to home. When I was finally done, I realized that no company is better than bad company. Excellent piece of writing, yet my instincts tell me a really high price was paid.

[Beren]

I paid the price, but I have debts. Still no company is way better. You’re right, thanks!

[MCS]

Hang in there, the debts eventually get paid and one heals and even goes on to flourish.

[Lydia Shutter]

Lots of honest emotions expressed well here. Sounds like parents decided you should be on your own. Now that you are, you realize independence is wonderful....but it can be lonely too. Lydi**

[Beren]

I’m better. Sometimes being alone is better than being with the wrong people. Thank you for taking time to read and comment!

[red93]

This is very interesting B, the structure of the lines, and I like a lot the unanswered questions, which of course we all have in our lives. Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Beren]

I needed answers but who cares about the answers anymore since you read my work and commented! Yeyy! Thank you for taking time for these sir!

[Lorry]

We never to pay attention to the whiffs and doubts until its too late and the baalliffs are at the door demsnding payment for tge debts accrued.
I call them tge Homer moment, when everything becomes crystal clear as that door slams shut and you puyt your hand to your head and say out loud "D'oh!"
Its my very own version of groundhog day and tge song is always the same!

[Beren]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts sir! Glad you visited to read and comment! I’ll use the homer moment in my life anymore, D’oh!

[Neville]

my goodness this is one of those raw, ragged and real poems that makes the reader wince with each fresh line read .. the way that good and great poetry is meant to make the reader feel .. Write on & always, Neville

[Beren]

you make me so happy all the time, thank you sir. THANK YOU!

[Neville]

My absolute pleasure 😎👍

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

I love this poem. It captures a sense of loneliness and resilience, expressing the weight of past struggles and the challenge of moving forward. The emotions feel raw and honest, making the journey from pain to independence deeply impactful. The tone is haunting yet powerful, and the writing beautifully reflects the complexity of inner turmoil. This is a wonderfully written and deeply moving piece.

[Beren]

Ah thank you so much for taking time to read and comment! I’m glad you like it, you understand very well!

[ashley]

GOD youre good at this. gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

[Beren]

AHHH (screaming) THANK YOU THIS IS THE COMPLIMENT IVE NEEDED!

[ashley]

EEEE I LOVE YOU !!! NEVER stop writing, im lowkey gonna stalk and read your stuff now LMFAOO