Roxi's Mountain

Boots laced and tied; ignition is turned to where the motor comes to life. Headlamps on, his first stop is across the street from the Cadbury apartments. A cup of coffee close by, pressed between lips is a lit cigarette. Checking his watch, he’s got a handful of minutes left to himself. He thinks about Jane, the good parts anyway. Having another drag, sees Vincent walking across the street towards him. Poking his head out, Benny says, “Morning.” Stopping just short of his longtime friend, Vincent peers at his worn boots and lingering over the cost of new ones, he looks up at Benny and asks, “How are you doing?”

“Smoking a lot if that tells you anything.”

“That’s not good.”

“Yeah, I know.” Flicking the ash away, Benny asks, “You ready?”

“Pretty much.” Looking over his shoulder at the apartment complex he calls home, Vincent walks around the front of the rig which gives Benny time to have more puff before snubbing out his smoke.

With Vincent seated and locked in, Benny checks the side mirror before pulling away from the curb. The sky is dark, but cloudless. It has been days since it rained and feeling how dry the air is, Benny makes a left on Maple. Keeping the rig moving towards the outskirts of town, most of the houses have thinned out and though there are still a few dotting the hillside, eventually these too, fade in the rearview. Staring ahead through the windshield, dark against the deep blue background is Roxi’s mountain.

Back when he was twelve, Uncle Red told him not to get caught out there at night. You might never see morning again. Keeping in mind the absence of a smile when Uncle Red said this, Vincent breaks in by saying to him, “Lori and the girls are taking miss Purdy to Mark’s Place around three this afternoon. She thought it would be a good idea if we stop by and say hello.”

Benny glances at his watch and after doing the math, he says to Vincent, “Hope me being there doesn’t upset her.”

“She won’t be. If anything, she’s going to hug the crap out of you. After that, she’ll sit you down and open up about everything that happened. It will be good for her, good for you, too.”

Thinking back to the day before yesterday, as soon as he heard the news, he called her phone. Voice mail is all he got and after leaving a quick message, went home to an empty house. Stuck on the refrigerator door is Jane’s grocery list. He stared at it for a good long time before he reached inside for a beer. Early the next day, the cops are knocking on his front door. Said it was routine questioning, and after stuffing him inside a tiny room, a plainclothes detective strolls through the door. They talked about mostly nothing and then the detective takes him to another room. It was in this room that he watched the store’s surveillance video. There’s Jane shopping on the baking isle when miss Purdy comes into the picture. The two embrace, and after they break apart, Jane disappears. Looking for answers, the detective told him that they were going to send the video to a special crimes unit to make sure the tape was not tampered with. Said it would take about a week before he received a report. So, until then, he was free to go. It felt odd to be told that. Like he had been carrying a chain around his neck this whole time and never knew it until that moment. After being shown out, he called Vincent.

Lori’s riding shotgun, and after poking her face out, she asked, “Do you want a piece of chicken? Got some coleslaw and buttered biscuits to go with.” Such a feast. Later, when he is out having a smoke out on their back deck, Lori slips through the patio door. After resting her arms on the guard rail, she said to him, “I need you to promise me Vincent comes home.” He laughed all the while reassuring Lori that Vincent was capable of taking care of himself. That wasn’t enough. “Promise me you will.” Her tone whittled him down. “Fine. I promise.”

That was yesterday, and getting a start on their day, the curve of the sun is an angry red and thinking the tree boughs will give the two plenty of shade, Benny keeps the rig heading straight towards the woods Uncle Red told him to stay away from.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Will Miller]

I found it very hard to follow. Too many people introduced too fast, left me wondering who the pronouns were referring to.And it's not clear what "Jane disappears" means. Did she, Jane, disappear before miss Purdy's eyes, or was she simply not seen after that point? And where did Lori come from and what is she sticking her head out of. I'll stop here. I found it confusing even after my third read.

[ben]

this is very nice that you read this snippet three times. Just to help you out, Lori is Vincent's girl. And, as for miss Purdy, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time to witness Jane disappearing in thin air much like a magic trick. So far, you are on track and, as an added bonus, I shall be adding another snippet in the near future. Thank you once again, wow, read it three times, that's fantastic.

[Will Miller]

How about taking a look at one of my chapters? :-)

[ben]

sure, I will do that.

[ben]

oh boy, so I read a couple of paragraphs and found myself wanting to stop. So, I did. Not my cup of tea as they say. Good luck to you in moving forward.