Chapter Three

Hero's Call: Chapter Three

From the diary of Czar Destructo,

Evil Genius. Villain Extraordinaire.

Final Entry.

 

That son-of-a-b***h Captain Amazing is the whole reason I’m in here. As a Villain, you’re not technically required to have a nemesis. It’s actually a bit more prudent not to have one. They’re kind of annoying. Things happen though. When you try to take over the world several times, the same Hero seems to come back again and again. Always appearing at the last second, tall, fair, and handsome, to ruin the work you’ve spent months perfecting.

They just don’t understand how long it actually takes to breed a mutant army, or build a Death Ray, or even take control of everyone’s mind in the country. Things like that take planning and work. They require large sums of ill-begotten money. You have to hire henchmen. Ugh, don’t get me started on henchmen. Ever since they unionized they’ve been nothing but a hassle.

I am not the original Czar Destructo. To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know who was. The name has been around for ages and ages. I’m merely a clone, of a clone, of a clone, and so on. And when I get out of here, I’ll make a clone of myself. I still have years of Villainy ahead of me, I think, but I need time to train my protégé.

I’m old, though I may not look it. Time seems to have a funny effect here. I was brought to life sometime around the 1900’s, but, to look at me, you’d only guess I was in my late forties. I know the Hero Gene gives you an unnatural long life, but this is something different. I don’t know if it has something to do with the cloning process, or if this prison has effects they didn’t realize when they built it, but I care not. I feel as young and lively as the day I was cloned.

I will have to admit, though, that this prison is something of a marvel. It’s nestled miles under the frigid water and ice of Antarctica. I don’t know who designed it, probably Brainiac or The Constructor, but my hat’s off to them. It’s an impossible labyrinth of icy tunnels and pools of water that would give you frostbite just to dip your toe in. They leave me free to roam in my cell, which is nothing more than a large icy dome with a single bed and a television that I could guess is one of the first televisions ever made.

I’ve been in here for forty long years. I was caught in 1959 by Captain Amazing, as I said. I had constructed a massive army of seemingly indestructible robots. I marched on Washington, and took over the entire United States government in one fell swoop. Captain Amazing was out of the country at the time. The news reached his ears in no time, but, even for a Hero, it takes a few hours to fly across the ocean. For just a few short hours I knew what it was to have the country under my command. Just as I was broadcasting my victory speech across the nation, that b*****d Captain Amazing dropped down on the steps of the White House. My robot army that I thought couldn’t be stopped was turned to tin foil in less than ten minutes.

He marched into the Oval Office and found me sitting with my feet propped on the desk. He went through the same old garbage.

“This ends now, Destructo,” he said in a commanding voice.

“Oh give it a rest, Amazing,” I replied with annoyance. “I’ve heard it all before. You know I’m not going to just give up and let you take me away.”

“If it’s a fight you want,” he said with a smile, “it’s a fight you’ll get.”

Now, anyone with the Hero Gene is much stronger than normal men, and that includes me. But, even so, I’m no match for Captain Amazing. His blows landed like sledgehammers. I don’t even know if the few hits I got in on him were even felt. He certainly didn’t seem to notice them. With a final punch to the chest he sent me flying through the wall of the Oval Office and onto the lawn of the White House. I wasn’t unconscious, and I probably could have gotten up and fought, but I didn’t see the point.

At the time, I thought they were going to take me to prison again. But I’ve broken out of their prisons far too many times, and they wised up. They manacled my hand and ankles together and threw me in an electrified cage. Seven armed guards were trained on me at all times, plus Captain Amazing. They loaded me into a dark, musty cargo plane, and flew me as far south as you can go before you start going north again.

I spent the majority of my days watching television. There’s really nothing else to do, unless I want to sit and brood, but I gave that up years ago. There’s amazing reception for it being the South Pole. I suppose I have whoever built this place to thank for that. I’m not much for the programs they come out with nowadays. It’s just a bunch of idiots sitting around a coffee shop or some one’s apartment talking about a bunch of crap that doesn’t matter or make much sense to the world. Who cares about shrinkage or whether those two morons were on a break or not?

I don’t watch the news any more. I used to watch it because it was reports of me and my random acts of terror. Once Captain Amazing locked me away in this place, I grew depressed watching reports of other Villains terrorizing the world. From time to time, Amazing would stop by to make sure I was where I belonged, which made me flick on the news to see what Villain could be so evil to make me a suspect. Seeing those wannabes fail time and time again also depressed me. Once The Dreadnaught Virus took hold, and what was left of the remaining Heroes and Villains scattered to the four winds, I stopped watching because all I saw were reports of robberies and murders and wars that I wasn’t behind.

The Dreadnaught Virus was one of my more brilliant plans. Me being a super genius, it was easy to study the Hero Gene and create a virus that counteracted it and inoculate myself against it. It was all part of my plan with the robot army, but it didn’t work like it should have. It must have been a miscalculation of sorts. The plan was to release the virus into the air of every major city on Earth, which I did. The effects were supposed to be instantaneous, which they weren’t. I didn’t know that however. I was going to reveal what I had done in my victory speech when I took over the country, but Captain Amazing, that witless wonder, had something else to say about that. Imagine my surprise when he showed up and punched me through a wall. As a punishment, I kept my secret. Funny, he spent all that time protecting the innocent, and he’s the one responsible for the ignorance and desolation of his people. The world is without Heroes, and it’s all thanks to Captain Amazing.

They don’t keep me restrained in my cell. I’m free to come and go as I please through the maze of ice tunnels that surround me. I’ve walked those paths a thousand times, only to eventually find myself back in the dome cell they created for me. I took every combination of twists and turns I could think of, and they all lead back to one place. It was some sick twisted mind game, I’m sure. They probably thought it would be funny to make me think there’s a way out somewhere, and watch me wander for hours and end up in the same place.

The joke’s on them, though. Guards come and go three times a day to bring me my food. They have to enter and exit from somewhere even if they do it somewhere out of my sight. They make me lie on the bed while automated harnesses lock me in place. Then they bring out a tray of food, and set it on top of the television and leave. But I’ve figured out from whence they come and go, so, like I said, the joke’s on them.

 

“Lie down on the bed,” a steely voice called from the overhead speaker.

It was dinnertime, and Czar Destructo had had enough of his icy. He walked silently over to the bed, stashed his diary under the mattress, and did as he was told. Four solid steel restraints slid out of the bed and locked over his wrists and ankles. There was a sound of a door opening followed by distant footsteps. A few seconds later, two guards wearing khaki uniforms and winter coats appear. One of them was holding a steaming tray of food, if it could even be called food. The other had his gun trained on the Villain in case something went awry. At each of their sides hung an extendable police baton.

The guard carrying the food set it down on top of the television. They both started to back out of the room.

“Excuse me, guard,” Destructo called after them. He could hear their footsteps stop.

“What do you want, maggot,” one of them answered him. His voice was burly and gruff. He could not be any more of a stereotypical tough guy.

“I was just curious if you could send a message to someone for me.”

“No mail goes in or out,” he growled back. “Those are the rules.”

“Yes, well, I’m afraid it’s something of importance,” Destructo said casually. “I was just hoping you could tell your mother that I had a wonderful time last night, and that cute purring noise she makes in bed is plaguing my mind.”

Czar Destructo could hear angry footsteps pounding across the room. In a moment, the guard was hovering over him face to face. A massive vein was bulging in his face and neck. Destructo could tell he’d hit a sore spot.

“What did you say to me?” he spat in Destructo’s face as he talked.

“I simply said that I’ve had sex with your mother, and that I’d like her to know that it was quite enjoyable.” Destructo gave the guard a wry smile.

“Release the restraints,” the guard yelled to no one. The metal cuffs holding Destructo down slid soundlessly back into the bed. “It’s time to teach you a lesson.”

The guard grabbed Destructo by the shirt and hauled him to his feet. The guard dragged him to the middle of the room and left him there. He took two steps more, and turned to his prisoner. Destructo could see the rage in his eyes. His muscles were bulging through his shirt as he took off his standard issue winter coat. He grabbed the baton from his waist and flicked it open with one quick movement.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this,” he growled.

There was a power suppressor field around the whole chamber. The field makes it so if Destructo were to break free of his restraints, he’s still just human. So, when the gorilla of a guard started to charge his prisoner, he thought a man half his size and strength was standing before him.

The good thing about fighting Heroes your whole life, Destructo thought, is that, after the first few times of getting your a*s kicked, you realize you need to learn to fight. You already know you’re stronger than any normal man you may encounter, but that doesn’t mean you know how to brawl with a Hero. Destructo spent a year in Asia making himself a better combatant. He wouldn’t be winning any martial arts tournaments any time soon, but it had served its purpose.

The guard took a massive swing at Destructo that he might as well have broadcast to the world before he’d done it. Destructo ducked effortlessly and the baton went sailing over his head. The wind from the swipe rustled his hair. Destructo may not have been as strong he used to be, but he was still strong enough. He planted his right fist into the guard’s gut, and he could hear the air get knocked out of him. He doubled over, and Destructo drove his knee into the guard’s nose. Blood gushed out like a river. To his right, Destructo could see the guard raise his gun, but before he could fire, Destructo pulled the bloody guard to his feet and use him as a human shield. Two bullets plunked into his back. Destructo grabbed the baton hanging lifelessly from the dead guard’s side and threw it at the guard who was still alive. It landed squarely between his eyes, and he slumped over unconscious.

Destructo dropped the dead guard and crossed the room in three great strides. A siren split through the cell. He wouldn’t have much more time. He stopped and picked up the gun from the unconscious guard, and headed into the icy tunnels. He took a left and an immediate right. Twenty steps later he’d arrived at his goal. To an outside observer, it would have looked just like any of the other walls in the caverns, but Destructo had noticed something about a week earlier. He was strolling through the tunnels thinking how he could escape when a small breeze crossed his cheeks. He didn’t know how he never noticed it before, but there was a perfect crack running from the floor to about a foot from the ceiling. He knew it was his way out.

The door slid open to reveal five guards with guns drawn standing more or less in a single file line. Destructo didn’t hesitate. He rushed the first guard and caught him at unawares. They clearly didn’t think the prisoner knew where to go. Destructo knocked him off his feet and the rest of the guards tumbled after him like dominoes. He stormed through the door on the other side of the room and wedged it shut with the clip of the gun. From here on out he would be unarmed.

There was a short hall that ended with an elevator. He pressed the button to go up and the doors glided open gently. Destructo stepped on and pressed the button for the hangar level on the surface. As the elevator climbed slowly upwards, he could feel his powers starting to surge back through my body. The next sorry b*****d that crossed his path was going to be in for a rude awakening.

The elevator doors opened on a large hangar. It was empty save for the helicopter at the very back. Destructo stepped out of the elevator and into the bitter cold of the hangar. There were guards there, but not very many. They were left as a last defense in case he’d made it that far. Apparently no one thought he could. There were only five of them. There was only one elevator too, and he hadn’t run in to any trouble on there. They must have figured he’d escape eventually, but not the way he did. Either that, or they were stupid enough to think he’d be caged forever.

Destructo lifted an empty fifty-gallon steel drum over his head and hurled it across the hangar. It crushed one of the guards to the floor. The rest of the guards raised their guns in fear, not knowing exactly which way to point. Destructo grabbed another drum and hurled it into the air, but, this time, they were ready for it. It didn’t matter, though. By the time they’d gotten out of the way, Destructo was next to them raining punches and kicks down so quickly he was almost a blur. In less than thirty seconds, he’d taken out the five guards. That just might have been a record for the old Villain.

He climbed into the cockpit of the helicopter and fired up the engine. It had been a long time since he was in the pilot chair of any aircraft. The last time was a special helicopter that he’d designed and built himself. It felt good for him to be back in power and in control. He raised the vehicle off the ground gently, and carefully flew out into the arctic wasteland.

Czar Destructo didn’t know where Captain Amazing was, or whether he was still alive or not, but he did know one thing for certain…he would have his revenge.