pltng [alt:II]

in your alien mask

guard your saucy cheddar

your icy unscored pelvic floor

but I'm a grinder and a goal I scored

without dropping my mitts or

hip flexors

which lumber right for you

gone ghost

thru the gummy rim

wrong way in?

Perhaps your netted clot

that ensnared me

was the goal

that fishbowl celly

that still rambled me a hoser

like I was a fallen turtle

that was too slow and dumb

to even light a lamp

didn’t count on me

to find lil’mamas' peanut butter

and snipe out the sieve

but my muzzy smile wouldn't

last for long

your weird shaped head

looked down on me like gino

a gringo to be decapitated  

after winning the game

though now, lil'mama

you have pucked your luv

destined ride the pine

a lonely alien pylon

sit tight

there's always a chance

for a pickup game 

Author's Note

Hints:
Sauce or Saucy: a well-executed saucer pass (a pass that goes in the air and hits back on the ice right before getting to the recipient) that sits flat on the receiving player’s tape.
Top Cheese/Cheddar: used to describe a shot that goes in off or right below the crossbar.

Grinder: a player that populates the lower lines or lower pairings. Has hands of stone, but is physical and works hard when he’s out on the ice. Usually beloved by the rest of the team

Mitts: refers to a player’s hands, often described as silky when a player has great skill. Also refers to a player’s gloves, as in “dropping the mitts” in a fight

Lumber: a hockey stick, named when sticks used to be made of wood.

Fishbowl: a helmet with a full plastic shield instead of a cage. Typically used as an insult in trash talk. Opinions vary widely on fishbowls, but if you wear one you’re likely one of the best players on the ice, or the worst.

Celly: a celebration after a goal is scored. Depending on the score, stakes, and opponent, varying levels of cellying is acceptable.

Hoser: another name for a loser, typically intended as an insult in trash talk. Comes from the early hockey days when the losing team had to hose down the ice with water after the game because the Zamboni had not been invented yet.

Turtle: when one of the players in a fight would rather not and just crouches or falls to his knees and covers himself.

Light the Lamp: to score a goal, in reference to the red light that goes on behind the net.

Where Mama Keeps the Peanut Butter: goal scored in the uppermost part of the net.

Snipe: a powerful or well-placed shot that results in a pretty goal. Every bar down shot is a snipe, but not every snipe goes bar down.

Sieve: an awful goalie that has many holes to shoot through.

Muzzy: mustache.

Gino: a goal (that is scored, not the net).

Ride the Pine: when a player spends the entire game sitting in the bench, and not getting any playing time. Usually reserved for benders and dusters.

Pylon: a player that is extremely slow out on the ice, and can easily be skated around. Likely a big guy.


***
https://www.newsweek.com/praying-mantis-insect-sex-mate-decapitated-video-714391


for the boys*, beware of a woman who makes a good cup of coffee--she's dangerous.



*[For the Boys/FTB: used to describe any actions that the rest of the team enjoys or when a player makes a sacrifice for the team.]

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