Wave of Distaste

Turning a feeling into a metaphorical story.

It feels as if there's a storm brewing on the horizon. As if in a matter of seconds, minutes, or hours everything I've known for what's felt like a lifetime will come crashing around me. I imagine the waves cascading in deadly descent towards me. They're threatening the existence of my thoughts, my feelings, my heart, and my soul. The sheer impact of the water colliding with my being is enough to bruise everything I've lived for. Water thrashes across every fiber of existence. I've convinced myself that this is not a pleasant feeling, that recovery wouldn't be an option and that time would never heal this wound. Darkness slithers it's way into my skull leaving a muddled delusion in it's path.

I awaken to the waves dissipating into no more than slight bumps in a mass of water. I lie there, broken. Earth shattered and washed away beneath my lifeless body. Destruction of no end enveloping the pure energy and life that once lived. Realization sets in when another wave strikes. This wave not consisting of water, but of new beginnings. The water has completely disappeared now and the inevitable feeling of loss along with it. The earth around my lifeless body shifts and grows into something even more beautiful than it had been before.

Suddenly another realization occurs: my body is no longer lifeless. I'm alive and the drag of fresh air into my lungs confirms suspicion. The damage was done, the wave had hit, but it didn't leave me lifeless. It left me alive. More alive than I'd ever been. In a way this wave that struck me so viciously had been building my entire life. At any moment I could have let this wave crash and destroy so that I could rebuild and learn to love again. I could have escaped from the constant fear and loneliness that this wave made me feel. I could have run free from this wave and found that I too deserve to be taken care of, but only by myself. Now that this wave has ceased to exist above my shoulders with the constant threat of falling upon my weary and feeble bones, I can live.