Vicarious

A poem on my life

Vicarious

Seperation

That's what I need

Ablity to break free

Become me

I want

I want to be my own person

Stop living through me,
Seeing through me
Being through me

Vicariously Vicariously

I want you

I want you

And all of you

To stop f*****g with me
Stop talking about me
Thinking about me

I want you to not exist in the back of my
mind

Stop walking behind me like a shadow
Stop lurking like a ghost
Go find a new host

Parasite

Parasitic,that's what this is

I need symbiosis,not this

It's a damn shame that I know exactly who I am, but there are restraints,constraints,complaints

When I look in the mirror,it's a blank slate,
a canvas devoid of everything
Because I flushed my paints down the toilet before you could paint your picture of me Pencils shake in my hand,and I'm covered in eraser marks and incomplete

Because I know what the picture is in my head but can't draw it
Can't draw in fear that it'll be discovered and torn and burnt and ruined and...

Is it already?

This is no way to live

Marionette and puppet
Unwanted doll and mannequin
Used for your own purpouses

Because they are vicarious,vicarious when they tried to mold the clay of my life
But it hardened before it formed
So,I am something,but what?

Certainly not what you wanted

But not what I wanted either

No tools for this artist to build up a grand sculpture meant to please...?

It's suppose to be me

I think I thought maybe

But now I'm just an automaton walking around and what the world sees is rust ,
Rust and dust and dulled eyes staring beyond your world

This machine walks through crowds unfeeling ,unspeaking
But I'm holding a sign over my head that says 'help me'

Clearly,no one gives a s**t,it's not their problem It's only mine

This is what happens when you try to tell a house how to build itself and walk away

Nothing happens

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

That was a helluva ride with words...I like the over-all read of this verse...just the way you format the lines is a bit different...unless that's the way you want it to be read...

[alexia dumas]

The format was intentional.Thank you for the review

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I see...U r welcome...