Untitled (POV)

This is a short that I wrote a couple years ago. I am slowly working on other parts to add to it. Just so you all know POV stands for 'point of view' which equals camera angle. Hope you all enjoy!

Untitled Short Screenplay

 

 

Song begins; Climbing Up The Walls-By Radiohead from Ok Computer

 

Fade in from black

 

POV;

over the back of Man's left shoulder

a man in all black wearing beanie and black leather gloves with black work boots similar to paramedic boots; Standing behind a big bush breathes out fog as he stares intently into the picture window of a woman's house; illuminated from inside living room/den area

 

cut to:

 

POV;

directly outside picture window

Woman is in sleeping clothes; shorts and cami with socks pulled up knee high, she turns light off

 

Fade out to black as light goes out

 

cut to

 

POV;

over the back of Man's shoulder, outside the back door of the woman's house that is all dark

 

cut to

 

POV;

mid view (slight left)

 

Woman coming out of bathroom, & is getting into bed

 

cut to

 

POV;

over the back of Man's left shoulder

Man tip toes in kitchen and grabs unknown utensil (utensil hidden by kitchen counter) from kitchen drawer

 

cut to:

 

POV;

close-up

Man's black leather gloved hand gripping a large black handled kitchen knife

 

cut to:

 

POV;

mid-view from bedroom door (slightly to left)

Woman screaming as she is awakened (no sound) hand with a black leather glove covers her mouth, her eyes illuminate as she sees the man's face

 

cut to:

 

POV;

close-up from bridge of Man's nose down to chin black leather gloved finger to lips (sshhh)

 

START FADE SEQUENCE

cut to: (2-3 secs.)

POV;

mid left/mid shot/ knee high up bed/ side view of:

woman lying on bed

(Same as all sequence)

Fade into black (1-2 secs.)

POV;

(Same as all sequence) (2-3 seconds)

Man @ foot of bed Woman clawing and kicking to move up the bed while Man is grabbing at her feet.

Fade into black (1-2 secs.)

POV;

(Same as all sequence) (2-3 seconds)

woman on bed kicking, crying, fighting, then two gloved hands come up to hold down wrists, Woman's head flailing back & forth.

Fade into black (1-2 secs.)

POV;

(Same as all sequence) (2-3 seconds)

Man slides up the bed with knife @ lips to (shhh) w/ a chuckle & smile

END SEQUENCE

POV;

over the back of man's left shoulder

woman fighting; kicking, silent screams, and arms flailing in bed, man positioned on top of her to slight left

 

cut to:

 

POV;

long-view (wide shot)

across the street from cafe

woman @ cafe in daytime walking out of front door with cup in hand talking on cell phone

 

cut to:

 

POV;

over the back of Man's left shoulder

no beanie only gloves, watching woman from a corner across the street from cafe

 

cut to:

 

POV;

over the back of Man's left shoulder

watching woman from behind bush through picture window of house as woman is entertaining Male Visitor in living room area

 

cut to:

 

POV;

over back of Man's left shoulder

walking around with a nonchalant demeanor in Woman's kitchen, snooping through cabinets as if they were in his house

 

cut to:

 

fade into white

 

POV;

from door of bedroom, few feet away from bed and main scene

Man on bed with the Woman, subduing her while she is struggling back and crying(no sound)

 

cut to:

 

fade into white

 

POV;

over the back of Man's shoulder slightly more to the left, partially revealing side of his face, but not enough to identify his face

walking past the pedestal sink and a small window in the bathroom

 

cut to:

 

POV;

 

over the back of Man's shoulder slightly more to the left, partially revealing side of his face but still not enough to identify his face

Man walks calmly into an unlit bathroom, with a small amount of moonlight coming in (purplish light) through window, violently rips shower curtain liner off of the hooks hanging over a clawfoot tub, exhibiting a glimpse of his violent nature, aside from the act of ripping down the curtain liner, all of Man's demeanor is a cumbersome calm, or serenity of a sort. Man's movements are cool and zombie like

 

fade out to black

 

cut to:

 

POV;

from the door of bedroom, few feet away from bed and room, headboard and wall above it splattered with blood, sheets covered in blood splatter, with sporadic pools

 

fade out to black

 

cut to:

 

POV;

partial left side view of Man, revealing more facial features

walking in a calm panic (zombie-like) in a desserted area near trees and dirt (has a small sense of releif, yet obvious that adrenaline is pumping)

 

cut to:

 

blank screen

(sound of crickets)

fade in from black

 

POV;

left side view from a few feet away,

Man in all black digging under moonlight, in a clearing surrounded by trees

 

cut to:

 

fade in from white (flash)

 

POV;

 

from bedroom door (slightly to left)

Man drags kicking and screaming Woman with duct taped mouth by the ankles, down to the foot of the bed wher he is standing, (Man's body is positioned over Woman's legs), when her body reaches the edge of bed, he looms over her and makes a (sshhh) gesture with the knife in his right hand, woman squirms and kicks around his legs, tears fall from her eyes, she screams silently from under duct tape

 

cut to:

 

fade in from white

 

POV;

mid-view of Man shoveling dirt onto a small mound (same as mentioned before)

 

packs the last bit of dirt onto the small mound, pulls a long-stemmed blood red rose with lots of thorns out from breast pocket

 

cut to:

 

POV;

close-up from bridge of Man's nose down to chin & partial neck

black gloved right hand bringsrose blossom up to nose, he sniffs & kisses it, camera follows rose all the way down to dirt mound & falls in center of mound

 

fade out to black when rose hits mound

 

cut to:

 

fade in from white

 

POV;

head-on shot (mid-view)

Man with no gloves or beanie, sitting alone @ a small round cafe table reading, Man looks up from book @ door of cafe straight ahead (looks directly into camera)

 

cut to:

 

POV;

head on mid view of Woman inside cafe standing directly in front of door with sun shinning in directly behind her in a yellow sunburst

Woman wearing a pretty, just-below-the-knee skirt and a 3/4 sleeved shirt to match, she has a big & warm smile 7 begins walking toward counter in the same direction as Man is sitting, she continues walking toward him smiling and saying hello many people

 

cut to:

 

POV;

head on mid view of Man @ table (Man positioned slightly to the right of screen)

Man sitting watches intently as she walks right past him (Woman's waist enters shot) and walks to counter to order (left side of screen) he continues staring at her

 

cut to:

 

POV;

long view Woman on left of screen, Man sitting on right side of screen

Man watches very intently as Woman picks up her drink from counter, as she is talking & laughing with people behind the counter, she waves goodbye to everyone & walks right past him without even looking at him & walks out of view

 

cut to:

 

POV;

mid view from cafe table where Man is sitting, facing door of cafe

 

Woman's back, walking towards door to cafe and walks out

 

cut to:

 

POV;

head on with Man @ table staring into camera

Man has a pleasnt light in his eyes from staring at Woman as she was walking, stare turns cold, dark, deep and very scary, he has a slight look of deafeat showing in his face. He then violently snaps his book shut and gets up and walks directly into camera with a zombie-like demeanor and expression, (hollow, yet focused eyes,walking calmly with an undertone of violence stewing)

 

fade out to black when Man reaches camera

 

cut to:

 

POV;

short view of Man's back heading towards cafe door

Man walks out of cafe door, then calmly looks right and left then stares straight ahead with purpose (when he stares straight ahead, h has the slightest tilt forward, that makes him look like he is on a serious mission)

 

cut to:

 

POV;

view over the back of Man's left shoulder facing across the street

Man watches Woman closing passenger door of a small car(preferbly red) & walking around the front of the car to get into driver side door, gets in and takes off from curb

 

fade out to black as Man drops his head

 

cut to

fade in from black

 

POV;

over Man's left shoulder

Man climbs up hill in the dark with the little light from moon, climbs up to bush facing Woman's home

 

cut to:

 

POV;

over Man's left shoulder standing behind bush watches Woman getting out of car with bags of groceries, Woman clicks garage open and walks in

 

fade out to black

 

cut to:

 

fade in from white

 

POV;

head on mid view of Man @ table facing cafe door

Man is sitting reading a book and looks up from his book towards door

 

cut to:

 

POV;

head on mid view with New Woman standing @ cafe door, New Woman, with a big, warm, soft smile walks towards counter nodding her hellos to people but not speaking

 

cut to:

 

POV;

head on with Man @ table

Man stares intently @ New Woman who walks straight past him and doesn't even look at him as he watches her walk over to the counter

 

cut to:

 

POV;

head on close up of Man

 

stares straight into camera with a very scary look in his eyes

 

flash fade to black

 

cut to:

 

blank screen

 

fade in from black

 

close-up of (1st) Woman

Woman is lying face up in bed, opens eyes quickly from dream with short quick gasps of air, very panicked, left black gloved hand covers mouth and Womans's eyes go wild with fear

 

cut to:

 

blank black screen

 

roll credits

 

Man-

Woman-

Male Visitor-

Cafe Counter people-

Cafe people (sitting)-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Man, Woman and (1st) Woman capitalized as name.

Reviews

[Dawn]

Hi there, i like the idea behind the screenplay, but its a little un character driven for me, I like names to make people feel real, where as i think as just man and woman, its a bit bland i get no real feel for them.
The story plot is a scary one, but i would suggest, thinking about the type of people you really want to watch this, as in most parts it is a silent movie.
I also agree with Nayia about some of the logic issues mentioned.
I suppose in some sense it depends on where you learned to write screenplays on how and what method you choose.
As you cant tell how many pages there are on here, have you any idea to length of this? think thats a point for mine to, to add time length to them.
Hope this helps, and i look forward to seeing some more of this.
Keep writing.
Dawn

[Nocturne]

Well, first of all, I want to say that it's nice to finally read a screenplay that takes into account that it's a screen play and not a short story. Most I've seen tend to be a bit overdone. Still I feel that at times, this does over describe in a subjective manner (example: movements as cool).

A few logic issues:

Man drags kicking and screaming Woman with duct taped mouth & wrists by the ankles,

If she has her mouth duct taped, how would she be "screaming"? If he has a hold of her ankles, how would she be "kicking"? Jerking and whimpering and moaning and trying to scream, yes. Kicking and screaming, not so much. Also, the part about her "screaming silently" was a bit off. Also, unless the duct tape goes all the way around the head, it will fall off from perspiration and saliva. In reality, it's not very effective in the long run.

Anyway, that bit snagged me. Good luck writing!