i love u and u love me

your the only one who makes me have butterflies 

out of all the guys 

other people might say ewe 

but i don't care cause i love you

you mean the world to me

if I lose you ill be in a lot of pain please stay with me my love forever

I love you from the top of my head to the bottom of body.....

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

your should be you're... spelled right it even accidently looks aesthetically more pleasing when you get down to "ewe". A subtle thing but one I always tend to notice and appreciate.


I would split the second to last line up at at "please", maybe add a "so" before "please" or even just a comma... really anything to break that line up. It's just a personal taste of mine. When read out loud, to me anyway, it sounds a little better that way.


It's a very good poem none the less. It's very sweet. Brought me back to a different time in my life.

[JC]

straight forward, honest, raw and real. I like that style when you just lay it all out. Good job.

[bella brown]

thanks xx so much

[.]

i think you should have stay instead of say. I think with a metaphor or simile. This poem could be alot stronger, in a sense. Its a nice poem or spoken word , heartfelt romance... yet it seems basic. Im not trying to mean or anything.

[Akash gaikwad]

I found last line to be funny !! Love can make us silly and stupid!!
Just one correction please stay with me forever instead please say with me forever