Essay towards manifesto-credo: unedited-unfinished

Free flow writing, leading full circle-fin

 

Training the mind to dwell in a state of turmoil boils the blood and stamps out the dust between our memories; kind of like a rusty hinge, becoming unglued, breaking down the barriers that hide from egos pride.  This blasphemous sinner takes a hold and barely lifts a finger, a predator to the sane and a perpetrator of blame. Subconscious responsibilty lies dormant in the form of deceit, true our minds will never surrender for survival is as inherent as our speech.  Troubled souls mutter tales of fools gold sifting through the waters of time breaking down the barriers of age resorting to an unruly state of rage and  the ego fears the cage it loves to run free leaving the wreckage in its wake.

                To wake, to ride the surf, treading new turf, like an explorer on a mission this is the tale of submission.  New thought consciousnes speaks of the ego like a living, breathing being, your new shadow friend that you can never shake.  Its up to us to become a detective, highly aware of the ticking of the clock, the tickling of the skin that rears its head when ego has climbed out of bed.  But what do you do when you have realized that you are under its control?  Run, hide or succumb?

                All too often man does the latter, we succumb and ride the storm of our emotions because this is how we have been socialized, your fathers father ruled the house in this fashion, so whats the difference, you came out just fine, right?  These teachings of assimilation have hindered the human race since we learned to walk upright. Today is the day when the world must come to terms with its reckless desires, with its need for hedonistic pleasures, and the worst, the self-serving idealism that has become the hallmark of the Western culture. 

                America still is one of the greatest countries in the world, but to continue upon this path of destruction, or to be even more overt, annihilation, will render this country to a state where we find ourselves on our knees seeking the help of the world.  Our forefathers coined the phrase that echoes round the world, the land of the free the home of the brave.  How can a whole society claim to be free when its shackled with the weight of guilt that fuels so many to overcome their own insecurities by consuming everything and anyone within reach?  These invisible chains must be cast aside loop by loop, taking a moment to reflect upon what each one symbolizes.  For instance, my own chains began with my insecurities and lack of self worth, my self esteem was so low that I had to seek some kind of substance to bolster my weakend soul to such a deluded state of mind that I quickly lost any sense of identity that had formed in my early years.  The early years are the formative years, the time when you must cultivate your senses, your mind and body. Along with this awareness your spirit will rear its head begging to be acknowledged, too many of us don’t have the tools to identify when our spirit is ready to take the next step, hence growth is impeded without much notice, we just continue on in the same manner that our own families have done for generations.  Of course there are exceptions to this assumption, think of your first experience when you were told that there was a higher power in control of the entire world, in control of your destiny, your fate your health, your mind and your soul.

           I can remember the first time I became aware that one day I would die and no longer be part of this world, I was 16 years old.   Teenagers have no fear, no regard for tomorrow the now is the most important moment in the entire world, to become fully aware that your life is not in your control is a devastating blow to ones ego, my own ego flared and consumed my entire being. I was racked with tears and sorrow consumed my mind, and surely panic set in with no one to turn to.  I did not have a family where open discourse ruled the day, our days were conducted in such a fearful state due to my fathers authoritarion hold on the entire family to speak of any sort of weakness was frowned upon and cast aside for what it was, weak.  Looking back on this day if I had some kind of mentor, a spiritual advisor that I could turn to the knowledge that I would one day die wouldn’t have been so devastating.  My spirit was speaking and asking me to take its hand and cultivate it, feed it, love it and embrace this inner guide.   This is what I mean when I refer to the chains, I can identify this link and call it for what it was, the birth of my ego; day one. Take a moment to think of the day when you became awareof your own mortality, how did you deal with it, did you have anyone to turn to, or did you suffer this reality in silence praying that you would live another minute?  I prayed the only way that I knew how, asking for god to save me. Today when I pray I never pray for myself but rather for the entire world; the sick, the suffering,  the poor, the oppressed and the cast aways. This form of prayer is the stepping stone to a more free world, to live in a peaceful world peace must begin with oneself, and selfless prayer is the best way to attain innner peace, and from there the circle will begin.                                                          

Author's Note

unedited, unfinished--