Journal ~ Want To Be Free

5/19/19

11:27pm

What if there was a world that everyone lived in before coming into this "reality". What if, before we took our first breath into this world of misery and pain, there was something...somewhere? What is there is a world out there that we were meant to stay in forever? What if we are strangers to this planet who simply lost their memories of their hometown and conformed to this life instead, never realizing this was never meant to be our forever. 

As of right now, i'm conflicted. See, my life is filled with the things I read. I love fantasy, fiction, adventure, and anything that just isn't reality. Why do I do this? Why do I choose to ignore the normal way of stressing over money and relationships with those around me? Why do I look for answers for this emptiness within my heart...in a book of mystical creatures and demons? What am I trying to find? I feel as though it could be my subconscious trying to remind me of what I used to be. I think my mind is playing tricks on me with these kinds of thoughts. When I was in school people would brush past me in the hallways and whisper about the girl who never talked much and kept her nose glued in a book. I'll admit most of the time I did that to avoid eye contact (because it gave me anxiety) but other times, I simply could not put the book down. Once my imagination gets going, it does not stop! I can't help it. 

I honestly hate the way this world is. How the minds of people are so limited and kept in a box. Its rare for someone to use their own imagination and make it come to life. I honestly admire those who have a vision and are able to share it with the world whether its through a book or a short poem. I guess its just my mind running in circles trying to come up with a better alternative to escape this dull and narrow minded place. I just want there to be something out there that was meant for me to find and explore! Some type of adventure where I can be the hero! Somewhere where my thoughts and feelings are not ignored and belittled! Some where where I can just be...free. Free to be me.