Close the Door

I'm sorry I haven't written in some time I've been lost in myself. I've been trying to find just one reason I shouldn't leave this life behind close the door on the past, which still torments my mind sure, I know all these years you've been trying to prod me along the right path saying “let go, let God” but to let go of guilt is what seemed to evade me for some reason not even God could persuade me There's so many times that I've wanted to die that I've wanted to call you and just say goodbye but I'd suddenly see the tears fall from your eyes so I'd drink myself numb and continue the lie I've been living and still live to this very day I just want it to end, I cannot live this way anymore, please just know I'm not putting the blame on you. You're not the reason I'm living in shame If I told you I loved you I probably meant it but words weren't enough, so you'll probably resent it There's so many things I've been needing to say I've kept locked up inside, my fear stood in the way and I've lost all these years to my selfish desires I've laughed as your dreams for us slowly expired If there was just one thing left for me to do I would go back in time to the day I met you and forget all those things that you wanted to show me I'd just walk away so you would never know me Forgive me for every word that I'm saying I know with each word that I'm surely betraying the hopes and the dreams through the years we have built but your innocence just cannot outweigh my guilt so good bye and I'm sorry. I'll always regret how I came to be someone you'll never forget.