Dead Flowers

A Poem by beezle

A promise was broken the day that you left.
When I heard you come in I was holding my breath.
I just knew what was coming, no words to be said.
Then my heart sank, I saw you moving the kids beds.
I said "whats going on?" You said "we need to talk."
But my mouth wouldn't work so I started to walk
towards the door till you said "I'm going to my mothers."
My mind said you switched one excuse for another.
We'd only spent just one night in our first home,
yet the whole night I somehow knew I'd be alone.
No, it didn't take much for me to realize,
it was written all over your face, in your eyes.
When you called him ten times needing to hear his voice,
with the tears that you cried you were making the choice
to back out, walk away, led along by your fears,
even though this was planned the last two f*****g years.
All the lies we had told so we could be together.
The tears, the frustrations, the storms we had weathered,
the shame and the guilt I had to rise above
which would all slip away every time we made love.

As I stood by the door, as you packed the kids things
I had no clue what that night was going to bring.
I was swept out to sea trying to swim to shore,
so I took all your quarters, and walked out the door.
I know that we talked for a while on the phone,
still, the damage was done, I was walking alone.
The promise I'd made you a few days before
was about to be broken, I walked to the store.
Your face in my mind was the last thing I saw
as I payed for the beer to begin my last fall.

It's now two weeks later, I've started to heal,
yet I'm still overcome by the guilt i still feel
while you're somewhere out there, I just wish you were here
It was four days ago that I drank my last beer.
Still, I will not give up, I will sit here and wait,
even though I can't sleep I will do what it takes
cause there is no one who can ever take your place.
So, for now you're the dead flowers, still in the vase
where you left them...
and I will still say by this hand
I love you more than you'll ever understand.