Google search

google searching "ways to painlessly end my life", 

lends me a certain relief.

Like the icy air that covers the moistness on my face

like the relief of a yawn after crying

the big words; they're comforting.

met-a-bol-ic acid-o-sis, ace-ty-cyst-eine

on the archaic, blue webpage

blue like Panadol packaging

the irony of blue.

I should be researching Dilthey's philosophy on life,

Instead,

I'm researching my own life's end.

I've looked everywhere and there's no painless way,

well, that's what the internet says

And I'm looking outside my finger-printed window and it's not even raining

I guess pathetic fallacy does not apply to me, 

                                               

pathetic really.