Broken heart

The life of a girl born with a heart problem.

Born with a broken heart
Fixed with sweat, blood and tears
Worries adding on years
Brave and innocent
5
6
7
8
9
10
Survived with a broken heart
The years went on
Scars not gone
Laughs and cries
17
18
First love with a broken heart
Dances in the rain
Kisses sure to stain
Bountiful and sure
19
20
Alone with a broken heart
Sits in her room
Drowns in gloom
Empty and afraid
21
Broken with a broken heart
Family couldn't mend
can just pretend
Destroyed and impaled

Got a second chance
At life's great dance
With shoes too tight like smothering walls
Trapped in her mind
Won't answer our calls
It hurts like blistering fire on skin
Like stark stabs with a blade
For the love we forbade
Because she was in danger
She thought
But her broken heart aches and it draws her to snakes
Who promise to make her whole

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! It's fantastic! The way is moved, the way images it conveyed, the story it told! All simply awesome and profound! Wow! I wasn't particularly crazy about the numbers....I found them a little in the way. They were a nice touch, indeed, just felt a tad unnecessary. But having only the middle lines rhyme was great! It made for some really fun stragglers. Well freaking done!

[beckyflowa]

Thank you for your review. The numbers refer to the girl’s age and its used as movement in the poem to show the progression and changes in her life. It’s a very personal one to me. I’m glad you like it.

[emipoemi]

of course. I understood and respect what the numbers represented, I'm only saying, the poem flows brilliantly (and I dare say better) without them. With them, the flow is kind of wonky. But it's just my two cents, poet has last say. This is still very well done!

[beckyflowa]

I understand:) thank you very much for your input!

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.