Contradiction

I dont wanna hear another sad story,
But its all I know.
I don't want to lose anyone,
But I can't live with them. 
I don't want to be depressed,
But I hate being happy.
I don't want realism,
But I need to know where I am-where the world is. 
I don't want to forget,
But I despise remembering. 
I don't want to be lonely,
But I like to be alone. 
I don't like real life romance,
But its everything I crave and desire. 
I don't want to leave this world,
But I do want to live in a Dream world. 
I don't want to be bad,
But I hate being good.