Everyday Thoughts Of Mine

I'm going to walk you through what goes on in my head everyday...

So I woke up this morning

with this strange feeling in my gut.

I get that pretty often

so it wasn't a big deal.

 

My mind was still so tired.

I could tell it had me turning all night

as fast as a wheel.

 

No telling what's going on the other room,

I just hear yelling.

Every ones probably fighting again.

I'll just keep dwelling while my eyes keep swelling.

When will this war ever end?

 

I'm getting undressed in the mirror.

I stand naked & look at all my ugly flaws.

I throw on some baggy clothes

& complain to the walls.

Who is there to understand?

 

I walk into the living room

& there's the family friend,

He flirts with me but I know he has a girl.

When will the games end?

Who is there to understand?

 

I flip on the computer & get online.

I speak with a few people about there love life.

I'm beginning to wonder...

Will I ever be loved as a wife?

Who is there to understand?

 

Anyways moving on.

I'm working harder than ever

still no credit from him.

Do I have to tell him my head's been severed??

Who is there to understand?

 

Here I am cooking.

I've burned my pan again!!!

I know I'll get it right eventually...

But when???

Who is there to understand?

 

I watch some s****y television show

on how to live "The good life"

but they don't even know she's in pain

till they find the bloody knife.

Who is there to understand?

 

I lay in my bed

& once again I'm alone.

I lay in my bed

knowing no one wants to call my phone.

Who is there to understand?

 

Tell me, Tell me when

someone will take a chance on me.

When will I end up

Where I'm meant to be?

Do you even understand?

 

There in my dreams,

A guy who cares for me

But it's not what it seems,

It's only what I want it to be.

 

I'm awake again

at 4:00am

crying.

It's the same routine.

I feel so alone.

Why is life so mean?

 

I start complaining to the walls.

There is no one to understand.

All I have is all my flaws

When I need a hand.

Author's Note

This is deff not my best or my fave but I'm posting anyways hoping someone else might get something out of it.

Reviews

[Lyndsay Castro]

Wow. I try not to use that word too much, but I truly mean it now. This is amazing. I connect with it on so many levels. It's incredible. It's like you crawled inside of me and wrote what you found inside me. I'm here. I care. Heck, I even want to call you on the phone now! I'll send you a message because I have a lot to say about this piece. Suffice it to say [for now] that this is beautiful. You are so interesting, and you show yourself so blatently, not through rose colored glasses.

[John Stussy]

It's really sad, heartbreaking to read. Someone will understand eventually though, keep your chin up.

[SamBug]

Great write. I really liked it. Good job. You're right it was pretty good. I haven't read everything else to know if it was your best write but it was good.

[An owl on the moon]

What shows so clearly through this work is the passion and pain of a hurting heart. You so movingly take thoughts and express them clearly and vividly so the page weeps... We weep as well... You are a brilliant, deep writer and I am so blessed to have you as a friend...

Craig

[The_emo_kid]

....I feel like someone understands me now....I loved it
Nice work!!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

No doubt when you are in love with someone who doesn't return the sentiment you can get lost in another world of longing that your real world suffers. Your emotions are very well versed my friend.

[Ally Baker]

this is definately a really good write! you'r definately very talented! i hope you dont ever stop writing!

[These Haunted Hallways]

Ugly flaws? No No No, never ever say that. This write meant so much to me, as i could relate to what u wrote, too. I have no one to wake up to, or nobody to call my own. Not for a long time now. And for some reason, it, too, gets so hard for me every time i get up and think about all what goes on in my head about not having a love and all of the other crap. Sometimes i just dont want to ever wake up at all to tell u the truth. I know what ya mean, too, about the guys uve seen and how they only want one thing. And ya keep wondering when is the world going to wake up and realize that there is more to a lonely, sad, yet very beautiful person inside and out. And ya shout, "We need some lovin' too, ya kno!" hehe. This world is just so conceited and snobby. It's so pathetic. This touhced me a lot. Never ever think that ur ugly. Wish i could send ya some flowers thru the screen hehe. Awesome job with this :)

B.A.

[mick weller]

Yeah, when you wake with a flush of adrenalin it all comes flooding back...
it's a bad place to be and you capture it well
`as fast as a wheel.' - I feel it all spinning in your head
Though it matters not, as you've got this 'from your system', but I'm a bit pedantic, and so:
- 'there love life' (their - pertaining to 'them')
'Every ones (everyone's ie. everyone is)
`Anyways moving on.` I think you could lose this - don't think it achieves anything
"The good life" - 'The Good Life'?

yeah, it's raw but you convey this well...
and this particularly reaches me:
'I'll just keep dwelling while my eyes keep swelling.'
thanks - I got something out of it...
and I hear you

[Lyndsay Castro]

Wow. I try not to use that word too much, but I truly mean it now. This is amazing. I connect with it on so many levels. It's incredible. It's like you crawled inside of me and wrote what you found inside me. I'm here. I care. Heck, I even want to call you on the phone now! I'll send you a message because I have a lot to say about this piece. Suffice it to say [for now] that this is beautiful. You are so interesting, and you show yourself so blatently, not through rose colored glasses.