Behind these bloodshot brown eyes

This is what I see when I look into my eyes.

I was asked to look into my eyes today

& say what I see in them.

I'm not sure I want to but I will,

It's a challenge.

 

So I stare into a mirror hesitant to look at my eyes.

At first when I look I see nothing

But I see more as I look closer.

 

I see the pain of everyday happenings.

When I found out he liked her.

Growing up without a dad.

 

Being cheated on over & over again as if I mean nothing.

Fighting with my mom.

 

Thinking I know it all

When I'm really clueless.

Thinking this world is going to end

When I'm really still stuck here.

 

Every time I got into a fight

With that drunken a*****e.

Every time I've failed

When I thought I had it.

 

This is what I see

Behind these bloodshot brown eyes.

They're beautiful but still bloodshot

From loss of sleep.

I see those nights laying awake

Thinking of someone who doesn't even notice me.

Thinking of everything that's happened in the last 24 hours

or even a week ago.

 

I see all kinds of strange things behind these bloodshot brown eyes.

 

I've been through so much,

Everything has come down to here & now.

Where am I to go?

Author's Note

I was inspired to write this when John Stussy Asked "What could you see if you looked into your own eyes? I'm challenging you to look."

Reviews

[Jessica Benfield]

wow... this is amazing... all the pain and anguish you express here... and yet you leave the reader with that final sense of hope through the end - "where do i go from here?" the lingering question adds that anticipation, and even hope within all the thoughts of past struggles and pain. nicely done!
smiles,
jess

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Sorry it took me so long to review this. I enjoyed this read, a wonderful inspirational piece. Great write!

[+xDrunkenFairytalex+]

yet again. Even the painful truths of your life amaze me. It tells me that, even though you fear yourself, you're open enough to spill your feelings a little. It's a hard thing to do,- reading your own eyes. I don't know if I could do it. I'm too ... idk.... maybe it's fear... maybe I'm too afraid to read myself. I couldn't face my failures and pain any more than I do each day. Kudos, darling.

[Kitty]

And you rose to the challenge beautifully. it's not easy to want to look into your own eyes. I often find that I hide from myself (I especially don;t have any mirrors in my room).

Nicely done!!!

Josie

[Mr. Lopez]

Self examination can be a hard pill to swollow yet the effects of this medicine can be priceless. We can choose to not carry the weight of what has been done to us or what others may think of us and release ourselves from that personal prison. When we give into the negitive outlook that others lay upon us we give them power over us . When you pose the question "where do i go from here?" I say......up!! Powerful words.

Mr. Lopez

[Sarah]

This is a very powerful idea - seeing your life flash before you, mirrored in your eyes. I really enjoyed the lines "Thinking this world is going to end / When I'm really still stuck here." Nice job.^^

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is really deep and interesting... sometimes when we look in that mirror we don't always like what we see... i applaud you for putting yourself out there like that.

[allwrite]

Wow, what a insightful piece. I see some of the same things in my mirror.
Well done!
AW

[Too Me]

Your honesty in this piece shows the inner strenght that you carry within! Well done ~ Lana

[These Haunted Hallways]

Now, this is truly deep, distinct and definite. It touched me emotionally, cause i pretty much see myself like this every day when i look into the mirror: the feeling of hoplessness, despairness, sadness and being forgotten. Very moving words. U did such a great job with this. *Hugs* :)

B.A.

[kitty_kelley]

I really like this poem Beck, I think it's my all time favorite, even better than the one you "wrote about me" lol! But I just love how true this poem is and how you poured yourself into this. It's biting and mean in parts, but it's an awesome poem that I'm going to favorite.