Body Of An Eighteen Year Old Girl

This Is How I Feel About All The Pieces Of Me.

These are the feet of an eighteen year old girl,

That's walked in so many shadows.

She's ready to break out

But no one really knows

What she's all about.

 

These are the hands of an eighteen year old girl,

That's touched so much

But has never been touched.

She just sits & waits for her turn.

 

These are the legs of an eighteen year old girl,

There so long & so beautiful

But still so scarred

From falling down & shaving accidents.

 

These are the arms of an eighteen year old girl,

They've been around so many loved people

But she still waits to feel his arms around her.

She wonders when love will find it's way to her.

 

These are the hips of an eighteen year old girl,

They swing so gracefully as all the boys stare

but at the end of the day

None of them will be there.

 

These are the lips of an eighteen year old girl,

So pretty but still so many ugly words come out.

So soft & so kissable,

They speak of no doubt.

 

These are the eyes of any eighteen year old girl,

They wonder away when looked into

For fear of someone seeing

Everything behind what she deceives has "true".

 

This is the body of an eighteen year old girl,

I'm confident but still on earth.

I'm crazy & wondering what is my worth.

I'm emotional but hard on the outside.

I'm telling the truth when people think I lied.

I'm loud at times but mostly quiet.

I keep on trying when I wanna give up on it.

I'm many different things,

Too many to say.

I'm just me at the end of the day.

Author's Note

This isn't perfect but I write to get things out not to be perfect.

Reviews

[Alice]

Going through your body bit by bit is a nice device used cleverly - this is your first poem that I've read that has more of a concept behind it rather than just a spill of feelings and it's served to eliminate list like qualities very well. It's a strong poem and there's some wonderful phrases, I like the bit about the shaving accidents.
My next suggestion for experimentation - try writing a poem that doesn't rhyme. You might find that it frees you up a little, because sometimes it seems like you are only writing something in that way so that it will rhyme, not because it is the most effective way that you could possibly say it. Rhyme can be useful but only if it serves a particular purpose or enhances the flow of the piece- I feel as though your rhyming sometimes inhibits the flow. Don't rhyme just for the sake of it.
Well done though x

[An owl on the moon]

So powerful, insightful, beautiful, tender, and hopeful!!! Amazing how the pieces all come together to form such a wonderful life in the end!!! Thanks you for such an honest, amazing write about your life in the moment... :)

Craig

[ShadowWolf]

What's perfect? This poem says alot about what a strong individual that you are. I'm no poet and no nothing about poetry, only what I like. And this I like!

[John Stussy]

Hey, it doesn't have to be perfect. It's about a person, it's about you. I haven't met any perfect people yet, and I doubt I ever will. You tell of yourself in a simple way that speaks volumes about yourself. Good self-examination.

[Lyndsay Castro]

I like this a lot. It's a very solid piece, and I got the feeling that, while you might not be confident about your future, you're donfident about yourself. You could clean up the grammar here and there, just to avoid being distracted from the poem itself. But I think you did a very good job, and I look forward to reading more of your work. Keep it up, write every day if you can!