Body Of An Eighteen Year Old Girl

This Is How I Feel About All The Pieces Of Me.

These are the feet of an eighteen year old girl,

That's walked in so many shadows.

She's ready to break out

But no one really knows

What she's all about.

 

These are the hands of an eighteen year old girl,

That's touched so much

But has never been touched.

She just sits & waits for her turn.

 

These are the legs of an eighteen year old girl,

There so long & so beautiful

But still so scarred

From falling down & shaving accidents.

 

These are the arms of an eighteen year old girl,

They've been around so many loved people

But she still waits to feel his arms around her.

She wonders when love will find it's way to her.

 

These are the hips of an eighteen year old girl,

They swing so gracefully as all the boys stare

but at the end of the day

None of them will be there.

 

These are the lips of an eighteen year old girl,

So pretty but still so many ugly words come out.

So soft & so kissable,

They speak of no doubt.

 

These are the eyes of any eighteen year old girl,

They wonder away when looked into

For fear of someone seeing

Everything behind what she deceives has "true".

 

This is the body of an eighteen year old girl,

I'm confident but still on earth.

I'm crazy & wondering what is my worth.

I'm emotional but hard on the outside.

I'm telling the truth when people think I lied.

I'm loud at times but mostly quiet.

I keep on trying when I wanna give up on it.

I'm many different things,

Too many to say.

I'm just me at the end of the day.

Author's Note

This isn't perfect but I write to get things out not to be perfect.

Reviews

[Alice]

Going through your body bit by bit is a nice device used cleverly - this is your first poem that I've read that has more of a concept behind it rather than just a spill of feelings and it's served to eliminate list like qualities very well. It's a strong poem and there's some wonderful phrases, I like the bit about the shaving accidents.
My next suggestion for experimentation - try writing a poem that doesn't rhyme. You might find that it frees you up a little, because sometimes it seems like you are only writing something in that way so that it will rhyme, not because it is the most effective way that you could possibly say it. Rhyme can be useful but only if it serves a particular purpose or enhances the flow of the piece- I feel as though your rhyming sometimes inhibits the flow. Don't rhyme just for the sake of it.
Well done though x

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Feels like my old days of high school all over again . Great write!

[alyssa]

I feel the same way sometimes... love that about poetry that you can relate to it and just vent out your feelings!!great write!!

[These Haunted Hallways]

Ur words just have me hypnotized, i swear hehe. It really gripped me, and i can imagine the scenes that uve painted. I look at these scenes and wonder to myself.... And i always ask myself... What is it like in a woman's eyes? What does it feel like for her? What feelings is she feeling? What is everything like?...I've always wanted to know these things. Im so curious, seriously hehe. Ur words here speak to all, and it definitely confirms that there is just so much more to a woman :)

B.A.

[Nikki Nightmare]

I love it... it's beautiful and it captures the reality of life so well.
You write beautifully, keep up the amazing work!

[Sarah]

I really like this - it captures the harsh realities about people, that they're not just what you can see, but so much more. (: Everyone is a different person at the end of the day, when their true self emerges after being kept away~ Great job with this, it was well written. =)

[kitty_kelley]

Another really good poem!! I don't know where all this is spurting from, but I hope it doesn't kill you because I like it!!

[Chloe Madison Taylor.]

I'm confident but still on earth.

being on earth instead of mars or pluto (yes, pluto is still a planet in my book) has nothing to do with being confident.
That line just doesnt make sense to me.

other than that its pretty decent.

[Mr. Lopez]

Your beauty lies within your shell that grows along with your perception of yourself. I liked the end where you become confident with who you are and look forward to who you will become. Any grammer errors can easily be remidied by processing your work through a word program. I use this tool with every piece because God knows my grammer is far from perfect. Looking forward to seeing more of your work. Very well done.

Mr. Lopez

[Beka]

All teenage girls feel pretty similar.
I admire how confident you are.
Which will only make you more attractive to men in the long run.
Lovely write darling.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

I loved it , very intersting , intimate writing :) Thanks Yos