Freckles

Freckles

A Story by Rebecca

Constellation marked skin
     Dots that sprinkle a pale surface
Eyes that promise sin
     Lips that quirk up with a purpose

Dots that sprinkle a pale surface
     A promise hidden in a grin
Lips that quirk up with a purpose
     My head’s caught in a spin

A promise hidden in a grin
     Words whispered in my ear
My head’s caught in a spin
     I’ve lost all my fear

Words whispered in my ear
     I never want to stop
I’ve lost all my fear
     I feel like I’m on top

I never want to stop
     You can see into my soul
I feel like I’m on top
     Only you can make me whole

You can see into my soul
     Eyes that promise sin
Only you can make me whole
     Constellation marked skin

© 2016 Rebecca


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Featured Review

Many fun & clever devices used in your poem. First, I love that you've managed to describe something as mundane as freckles, using a fresh, unique phrase: constellation-marked skin (by the way, a 2-word descriptor usually needs to be hyphenated). I love the playfulness of your piece. The writing itself seems to start out slowly, but then speeding up & speeding out of control, which mirrors the meaning: "I never want to stop" . . . Thanks for saying something about freckles that hasn't been said yet! *smile*

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Nice repetiton. It works well with what your telling. I liked it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Many fun & clever devices used in your poem. First, I love that you've managed to describe something as mundane as freckles, using a fresh, unique phrase: constellation-marked skin (by the way, a 2-word descriptor usually needs to be hyphenated). I love the playfulness of your piece. The writing itself seems to start out slowly, but then speeding up & speeding out of control, which mirrors the meaning: "I never want to stop" . . . Thanks for saying something about freckles that hasn't been said yet! *smile*

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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134 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on February 11, 2016
Last Updated on February 11, 2016

Author

Rebecca
Rebecca

Augusta, GA



About
I'm just a simple poet who loves music (especially live music), books, and a whole lot of other stuff that I am not going to list. :) more..

Writing
Pure Pure

A Poem by Rebecca