Mortal mate

I hear the blood throbbing through your veins

You seem to notice me

And realise the pain

I have terror in my eyes

And horror in my soul

Yet you stand there defiant

Your hair as black as coal

I see you bathed in an elegant light

Won't you come release me

From my eternal fight

I am sinister and demonic

But you should not fear

No harm shall come to you while I am near

You will come to know

That this is only fate

Oh how I love you my destined mortal mate.

 

I see you now standing there

With your mutilated soul

 

You stand there creating

An evil shadow, hoping a tortured soul

Will cross your path

 

Your sinister eyes have an un-nerving

Gleam in them

 

Your fangs are pointed

Waiting to pierce a mortal's flesh

 

You may seem handsome

But beneath your satanic beauty

I know what you are

 

I know you hunger for the rhythm

Hunger for the blood

 

Blood is your elixir

Your fountain of youth

Mortals are your suppliers

Your dealers

Your pluck them from the hell mouth of life

 

Today you are damned

Your time of reckoning has arrived

Reviews

[Helpless]

incredibly brilliant

[joshua deathdealer]

This is an awesome write Becca. Nicely done.

[Bailey C. Writing]

And realise the pain
*realize
I only favorite something on this website if I think I love it.
I just favorited this :) I know some people think I'm just being nice by putting a good review on all my read requests, but I'm really not just being nice, I truly like what I'm reading, and I see nothing wrong with your poetry besides a few grammar and typo fixes. I think you're a gifted poet :)
This was a chilling poem, a good amount of creepiness and strength in this poem...brilliantly done :)

[DontBlink158]

This was great the words flowed nicely and i liked the topic of it. It had energy, emotion, and a flow to the words. Great job!

[TJ]

Wonderful piece becca! I see Brytt told you that you spelled realize wrong but she must not realize that you are from across the pond :). So after noting thy non-error I'd like to say I really thought this piece was amazing with fantastic energy and emotion! Loved it :)

[Brytt]

Line 3: realize

Really good poem, Becca! Wow. I mean... wow.
My only other note, would be that you need to use your puntuation more wisely. you have a comma in stanza two that looks out of place with the rest of the poem. At the same time, I love how you left the period off of the end: the story's not over yet!