road through a foreign body

Oh, how I wish I was not me.

As she walked through this body, 

foreign to mind, 

wind clashes against the sighs

and cries,

piercing through the ears.

She longs for the time 

when she'll be free of this bind

that holds her viciously in her ever flowing 

tears.

At the end of each day, 

and beginning of each night,

she hopes to be free of this life.

Her eyes carry nothing but fear 

of being someone that won't survive.

Lungs filled with blood call her in,

despite of her claiming to be a weakling.

Beyond these walls, 

is a flesh filled body

that can't stop thinking about it's flaws.

She continues to walk away from her goal,

as if to give up on being a whole.

Getting lost deep in the forest,

her hopes all vanished,

that lifeless face never to be seen again.

Yet, every other eternity,

she walks through the foreign body, 

unknown to her mind.

Just to get a glimpse of being alive.

-becauseshewrote~maryum.  

Author's Note

I'd love to know your views on it. This poem is a bit personal to me so I'd appreciate honest opinions. :)

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

This poem speaks to me about internal battles of the mind. Too easy to focus on our flaws instead of concentrating our efforts on the positives. The negatives are all consuming, they change our perspective on life, bring fear and despair. It's a struggle, life is a struggle. Be brave, build on the positives. There is enough of a battle with the external influences, yet alone the inner conflict. If this is personal, hang in there. Thank you for sharing this read. You conveyed your thoughts well.

Chris

[becauseshewrote]

It's always a pleasure to read your reviews. Thank you for your view on it. :)

[Audie G. Couch]

Very intense, a bit sad, but beautifully written. Reading it I felt many things. I also thought, to myself, that this is what a being might say who has lived for centuries. Or a spirit who has had many lives in different bodies through out time. In short, your piece took me to a whole different level, mentally.

Excellent Work =-)

[becauseshewrote]

Reading your review made me look at my poem in a whole different way. I originally wrote it about not being happy with yourself, whether physically or mentally.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about it. :))