Determined!A Story by Shannen TeopizAbout how i am much more determined to build good relationship with friends.Being invisible in the eyes of
others is very hard. You just feel that
you don’t fit in. Yeah, I know that this
may sound over-reacting to say the phrase “I don’t belong” because you just often hear
that in movies where the lead role feels frustrated about his or her life. But yes, it is true that it is what I feel
and that’s final! No judging allowed.
Anyway, I have this short information that I want to share with you. I hope you’ll understand it even if you don’t
like it because it’s not likable. J Upon
stepping on 7th grade, I really thought and imagined that it’s going
to be different. I thought that
everything that I have experienced during my elementary grades would turn into
great happiness once I would enter high school. But I was wrong. Almost every happening in high school is just
the same as in elementary; my horrible teachers (not all), classmates, and even
my daily routine. They’re all just the
same. From then on, I have come up in my
mind a very bad outlook in life. I
thought that I would never have lots of friends, that no one would ever like
me, that no one would ever trust and believe in me and that I would never
amount to anything. Yes, I did have some
friends. But when I look at others
around me, I can say “Whoa! They have bunch of friends.” Every time I see them having so much fun and
laughter in their faces, I admit that I often become jealous. I can’t see why I have my own friends but it
just feels like it isn’t just enough. It
feels like my own friends despise me but they just have to go with the flow
with me because they have to, because maybe they’re scared of me. They’re scared of me because I have this rare
attitude in me that a girl in a “catholic school” would never possess. I can be monstrous sometimes, but only to the
point when I see something or someone being wrong about a certain issue. I can also release that kind of attitude to
the point when I can’t have control of my temper when someone angers me. That could be the reason why no one would
ever want to make friends with me. But
that doesn't mean that it is the only attitude I have, I can be a friend
too. If they only just knew about my
cruel past back at elementary, they’d understand how I feel. If they only just knew about a girl being
bullied by her classmates and is being pressured and pressed by foot by her
teachers, they’d understand. But still,
I understand them. Anyway, it’s not
their fault, because they didn'teven know a single bit about me. With that, I had nothing else to do but just
to sit in the corner and watch everyone having a great time with each
other. When I got in into social
networking, I felt interested but it did not satisfy me. Who would ever be satisfied in having friends
in Facebook but can’t even make friends in personal? I really did not know how
to change myself. Well, of course it
would be really awkward to just directly change from the monstrous me to an
innocent-looking girl, duh? So, anyways, I do not even want to be an
innocent-looking girl, because that is just totally not me. Yes, I can truly be monstrous sometimes when
I am pissed but aside of that I can definitely be a very good friend. So I
thought maybe I don’t have to be such a hypocrite. Maybe I don’t really have to pity myself to
have friends. I thought that if only I
could have just been more friendly and approachable enough, then I can have
tons of friends. With that idea, I was right! I
have to say, “Wow!” My second year in
high school is finally over. Well, it wasn't that bad, but yes, I can’t deny the fact that there were really some
difficulties and trials. But, lucky me I
was able to surmount those challenges.
Oh, and guess what; I miraculously made lots of friends. Wow. Isn’t that amazing? I have made new and fantastic group of
friends. They’re also very
supportive. Some of them help me in my
problems, they patiently listen to some of my nonsense stories, and they even
hang out with me even though I would act weirdly in front of them. That’s what I have been wanting for in my
whole life. I have always wanted them to
accept me for who I am and for how I handle myself as me. It feels so great to have them and I am very
thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to be noticed by the people surrounding
me as the real me. God does know how
long I have been waiting for this moment to come and it has finally
arrived. Well, the number of friends I
have right now are not exactly what I desired to have, but having supportive,
caring, and loving friends for the first time is more than enough. I just really hope that the friendships that
I have newly made with them will last longer and stronger. © 2015 Shannen TeopizAuthor's Note
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Added on May 5, 2015 Last Updated on May 24, 2015 AuthorShannen TeopizCebu, 7, PhilippinesAboutHi. I am a poetry enthusiast. I hope you like my poem because i do think it's my only possession that's worth liking for. LONG LIVE POETRY! more..Writing
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