New Chapter

New Chapter of Her Life?

She loved and was broken. Steeling herself and vow to never be broken the same way twice she set out to relearn how to love herself again. It was hard to readjust to being single again after she learned how to depend on him. It was hard as both her roommates are always out and about with their significant others leaving her alone in the room. It took some time for her to get use to the silence and alone time she once loved. Moving on and readjusting. With an open mind, it took her a month and she fell in love with her freedom once again.

 

CHANGE

She grew even closer with one of her close guy friends during her breakup and during her moving on process. He was always there for her whenever she needed someone to depend on. They worked together for their school annual dinner and that brought them even closer than ever. He was always by her side throughout the dinner, looking out for her. The funny thing is that they were just friends yet others misunderstood thinking that they were together. Things has always been this way since the first semester of their university life. They both find it funny that the others thought that way.

 

TURNING POINT

It was the 18^th of May 2017. They just finished their study group, he hanged around with no intention of heading back, so she did the same and stayed back for awhile wanting to chat with him. He had this lost look on his face and she joked around asking him “Girl problem?”. He said yes, saying that he’s confused and frustrated. Saying that she is unpredictable and that he can’t seem to figure her out. So she jokingly said that well since he has his own problems then who should she go to with her current problems. So he also jokingly asked if it was boy problems. So he was asking who is that guy, where is he from, which course and so on. She gave really obvious hints and she did not plan to let him know that that guy is him. So she changed the flow to him instead. Asking him for clues about the mysterious her. Seeing that asking him for clues is not getting her anywhere he changed the flow and resume asking her about that guy with their class name list out and with him as the only guy whose name is above hers she gave the most obvious hint of all. He joked around saying he would not fall for her tricks. She stormed away telling him whether he wants to believe it or not it is up to him as it was the truth.

REALIZATION

Storming away was a mistake. She text him apologizing for storming away and told him to forget about what just happened. She felt like an idiot and she was afraid that this would jeopardize their friendship. He replied her with an apology too. Thinking that this is it, there would be a dent in their friendship and worse come to worse he would even ignore her. His next text surprised her even more. He told her that that unpredictable girl was actually her and she was thinking that he was just trying to be nice so he told her that. She told him it is okay. She is okay and that he should not use that to make her happy. He told her that it is the truth and he did not plan to tell her that early. Since she dropped that bomb on him, he had no choice but to speed up his plan and tell her that. After him telling her that a lot of his actions made sense to her. How he was looking out for her during dinner, why he was always there for her to depend on. She always brushed those off as a simple act of kindness from a fellow friend and never gave much thought to it but now all of it just comes back and makes a lot of sense.

 

TOGETHER?

When she broke this news of them being together to her friends their response was far different from her previous one. They were really happy and fully support the both of them. She did not think that they would react this way. They said it was kind of predictable as they have been really close with each other and she would often mention about him unconsciously. The news of them being together slowly spread to others. At first they both were afraid that them being together happened way too early as she just went through her break up not long ago. He feared that others would badmouth her thinking that she moved on faster than supposed to. Did those thoughts ever went through their minds they will never know. Now it is day 25 for the both of them, even after this long time she sometimes still feels as if all of this is just a dream. One day she will wake up from it and realize that he was and never will be hers. He will only be more than her best friend but less than her boyfriend and that is how things will forever be between the both of them. Even so she decided to push such thoughts aside and just live in the moment because such thoughts would only pull her down and might even affect their relationship.

 

COMPARING

She could not help but compare her previous relationship with her current relationship. The difference between the two are just too much. In her current relationship, he would spend his time with her even without her mentioning it. The previous one? She is the one constantly asking if they could meet up or not. Texting? They never run out of topics. Unfinished conversations from the night before could just continue as if they never went to sleep. Everything was just so different that she kept comparing the both of them. Her friend told her to not compare the both of them and just continue on with her current relationship because comparing the both of them will not do any good. Though it is hard she did eventually stop comparing the both of them and? Well live in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest.

 

Her partner in crime. Her favourite best guy friend. Her go to person. How did this all happen? Neither of them know. Things just clicked and they just went along really well with each other. This thing between the both of them was something not within her plans but it happened and she is really glad it did. The only thing she hope for is that it will not end up like her previous one where she played the fool dancing to his tune.

CONFUSED

Entering the second month of their relationship. With it being their semester break they are separated as they went back home. Close but also far at the same time. Their busy schedule made it hard for them to maintain their conversation. At days he will not reply at all especially having fallen sick recently. She on the other hand? Mind started wandering and over-thinking. She wondered if her constant stream of chats actually bothered him or even burdened him? At this state of mind she could not help but want to call him but at the same time she could not bring herself to do so.

She felt herself changing. How? Back then she never really cared and just chatted with him without even wondering if she will be bothering him or not. Nowadays she find herself doing so. Wondering about the little things that once never ever crossed her mind. Always thinking over and over again if she should be sending those texts or if she should stop, and see what he would do. A thought of she will never ever be suitable to date or be in love cross her mind. Maybe it is true. Maybe she will never ever be able to fully grasp the concept of loving someone and she never will.

She find herself back to square one. Being in the same situation as she were back then in her previous relationship. Always waiting for his texts. Maybe it is time for her to be independent and do something to fill in that spare time that she has.