Consumed

This is a vulnerable poem coming from the depths of my heartbreak with struggling with infertility.

So you sit down, and I’ll braid your hair 

You can cry all the tears you need to

You can let your heart shatter into a million jagged pieces

And i will pick them up for you, cutting my hands into ribbons

I won’t wipe your tears and tell you not to cry

 instead, i will tell you that you are allowed to feel them

That you are allowed to be upset and feel dread

For something you didn’t know you wanted yet

I will force all my pain down my own throat, swallow it whole

So you don’t have to feel it

I will comfort you, 

Hold you close as you spill your darkest secrets

While you expose your  feelings of shame and guilt

For never wanting this again

I will help pick you up off the ground

While my heart stays there

And try not to beat myself up 

For feeling broken

The words unspoken,

 stuck  in my throat

How do i say that you what you  are heartbroken to have

Im heartbroken to never have the chance 

While you saw two lines marking positive

I saw one

And we’re both undone by the difference