A letter to myself

Dear younger me, 

I'm sorry I couldn't be the person that you needed, 

letting others beat you down and feel defeated

I'm sorry to my body for starving you of nourishment

you deserved so much more than a unintended punishment

there will be hard times in your future,  but you will survive,  even thrive

there are areas in your life that you wish didn't happen, but those are things that made you who you are, that taught you your resilence

there is power in your pain, there is comfort in your wounds

dig deep and find them, mend them, heal them.

You deserve to be happy, you deserve to thrive, 

you made it past your mistakes, you are alive

look in the mirror, don't look away

look at your beautiful hair, your bright eyes, round face

you are beautiful on the inside and the outside

your heart is pure, that is what matters, 

you do make a difference  in others lives

even when you are in your darker times

you will get through this, 

please know that dad leaving is not your fault

you are worthy of love even if you feel that you don't receive it from your mom

You are not the reason your family fell apart

you are not the reason they left

 you will get through this, 

Ask for help, there is no shame in sharing your pain, there is so much to gain. You are not and were not ever alone. Look around you with bright and refreshed eyes.  

You will be OK. 

Love older .. you.