A tribute to my grandmother

A Poem by beautifulblade

My grandma passed away yesterday, quite unexpectedly. This is what I'm going to read at her funeral.

My grandmother once told me that I was never at a loss for words, that, as a poet, I would always have something to say. Today, I have both everything and nothing. I will speak nothing as I continue to process the fact that this is goodbye, and share everything as I accept the fact that this is not the end. My grief will not be silent, but neither will my joy; and today, I will choose which one to focus on. Through tears, I will remember the woman who challenged me to see the world my own way, who told me to paint my blue skies red if I felt like it, and to climb trees without fear because she would do that for me.

I remember how we celebrated my brother's Christmas Eve birthday in the summer, because we were always on the road to Hastings. I was only slightly envious when he got extra presents. I remember how she nurtured my belief in Santa Clause long after I figured out why he had the same handwriting as she did. She taught me to be proud of the young woman I became, because I was stuck with myself for the rest of my life.

My grandmother was many things. Loving, nurturing, and creative, but she was also human. She wasn't perfect, and in many areas of her life, she would be the first to admit so. However, in spite of downfalls, false starts, and restarts, she managed. I know at times she was lonely, and I will always wish I had made it down to see her more often, but wishful thinking never solved anything. She was strong, and told me to seize my life as my own. She told me that my decisions were mine to make and to never, ever, be ashamed of of what I felt was right.

Before I got married, both her and my grandfather reminded me that a marriage takes two and that you have to work at it to make it last. She told me to always remember how to love as fiercely as I did at the moment I said 'I do.' I can still hear her tell me how beautiful I looked in my dress, and how she smiled when I chucked off my heels the moment the ceremony was done. A free spirit, just like she wanted me to be.

I will always cherish the moment she met my son for the first time, how they bonded instantly. I am grateful for the fact that she was able to hold him before she passed. I hold onto the hope that she is in Heaven with our Lord, and although this day came far too quickly, we will always have the memories of her life with us. Today, I am not afraid of life without her, rather, I am joyful because of the years I had with her.

I will miss you, grandma, but I will always remember to love you more.