Stuck

In a rough spot with memories. This is what came of it when I calmed down enough to write.

Sometimes I forget how to smile, 

stuck for some time between 

relapse and recovery and frozen 

in a moment from years left behind.

The pain doesn't end. It doesn't let up 

and it doesn't let go, even though I know

it's all over. 

At least, I thought it was. 

I thought my body was mine, 

to be shared with one I love, 

but once again it was stolen 

and the pain became too much. 

I sat for hours, numb and unclear,

not knowing what was next, 

not understanding my fear. 

I don't really know what I did 

to deserve this, but 

re-victimization I know isn't 

that unheard of. 

I guess life's just not fair, 

it don't play favorites or share, 

except when the line between 

life and living gets blurred. 

So that's where I sit, 

stuck somewhere in the middle

unable to move or scream. 

But this mask I wear works wonders, 

I can move along unseen, 

my pain unknown and 

my struggle my own 

as I travel from one breath 

to the next, pretending 

to be free.

Why is it that this world doesn't make sense anymore?

What was once considered safe is now a writhing

pit of snakes and my mind is too loud to be heard.

When a little girl cries at the hand of a monster, 

that little girl dies for years to come. 

When a small child fears 

what lies behind a bedroom door,

memories and hate create weapons of suicide. 

And when the bogeyman lives inside

the eyes of every stranger, 

innocence is stolen by ones 

you thought you knew. 

Author's Note

This is pretty personal. Please be nice.

Reviews

[Alucard6336]

I love this poem. :)

Why wouldn't I be nice to you? This is amazing and intriguing.

Yes it is painful but at least you got it out there.

You didn't have anyone to protect you, but people let the wrong kind of people in. I'm supposed to be the one giving advice to everyone, and protecting everyone I can. Yet with lack of emotional bonds I can not help everyone I can.

I am empathetic and I do not rely on cheap parlor tricks. I am different and unique but I can reveal many things with my ability.

But you, darling, are a treasure. Darn anyone who ever treats you wrong. I cannot change the past but I could help anyone with my abilities should they ask it.

You're an angel who has a broken wing. I am so sorry about what you've lived through.

[beautifulblade]

You're an empath? I am, just not very developed.

Thank you for your kind words. However, what happened sucked, it still made me who I am. I wouldn't change it because my experiences better enable me to relate to and help others.
I know what you mean about being the one who is supposed to give advice to everyone, and I'm grateful that my past helps me better my ability to do so.

[Alucard6336]

I reread this poem several times, letting my mind paint the canvas.

It shows that you have wrote for 6 years, as this is an incredible way of writing that you have.

I sent you a friend request, Mariah. I see great promise in you as a writer and person.