Thoughts of today

Today, you have kicked me. 

I didn't feel it, but you did. 

According to the doctors, 

you are small... smaller than 

you should be, 

but I have seen you perform 

acrobatic routines within the 

confines of my uterus, and 

as you flip around in a ghost 

image on a screen, I can 

sense part of who you are. 

Today, I have listened to your heartbeat,

as I have every day for a week. 

The recording of you on my phone 

makes me smile in a way I never imagined

that I would. It isn't something I can 

describe, but it is love. 

It is love... for you. 

For the one I have never touched 

or felt, for the one whom all 

I have is a growing tummy 

and a smaller appetite. For the 

one who has dropped inches off 

of my thighs and added them to

my waist. For the one I will cry

for, and the one I would die for.

My child, in a few more weeks

they will tell me a statement 

of fact about who you are. 

However, if one day you realize 

they were wrong, 

that's fine with me. I will love 

you just the same.

Boy or girl, you will always 

be my baby (Yes, even when you 

are nine or 13 or 35).

Run like the wind, my darling, 

freedom awaits you in the light. 

Until then, my nights are lit 

up by the dreams you send to me, 

vivid illustrations of life and beauty. 

Are you trying to tell me something?

Regardless, I will share my words 

with you, as you already have my love.

Reviews

[JayceeC]

I look at this and smile. There are beautiful in a way that I'm not sure you can appreciate just yet. When your child is 18 and leaving home, then maybe. But I remember my first glimpse that my child was real, a sonogram picture that looked like a peanut with a pulse. She was too small to hear a heartbeat at that stage, and it was a love that could not be described that sat side by side with a fear that I had never felt before. It was the fear and love of a mother for her child. Believe it or not, you do grow into those emotions and both become companions, but you are right. No matter how old, they are always our babies.