Commander

a rain day poem - Tanka style

 

Victorious was he

All day he watched a beetle

Mountain passes beneath

Shadows moving across his feet

The rain and a scattered sigh

Reviews

[Cicera]

I like playing with language. And here, counting five and seven syllables, and imagining the mountain and the beetle, I think I'm having fun. Why you call this commander should remain a secret, you say. But maybe that is also the irony-to be found-in lending reason to the hands of such an unstable gamer as language. The irony of victory achieved through lost and scattered lives? It is not half as fun to speculate on meaning as to kill meaning by scattering the letters around. Like in a kindergarten!