It was like any other day

Humorous look at 'cold' calling in sales

After getting my first cup of coffee from the break room, I take the leisurely stroll back to my office. Knowing I have a light schedule today, I'm ready to settle in and contemplate all the ways I can be socially awesome. I'm sure there is a plethora of witty comments I can leave, and a few people left who are still ok with me talking about myself.

"Dorman, get in here"

Screams the boss, "did you see last month's numbers?" Ha, did I see them, I'm living them; talking about stating the obvious.....ok, maybe that big deal didn't happen, but I should probably remind 'boss man' how popular I have become online......priceless.....

"I am removing the chair from your office immediately, your lazy a*s has become way too comfortable in there". "Damn," I reply; "are you sure we can't go two out of three before we start removing furniture?"

"Plus" he says, "I want you to grab your gear and go make 10 new cold calls today and let me know the results by the end of the day; comprende?"

Damn, doesn't he know who I am?

Maybe if I show him how many followers I have he will be impressed. I'm sure he doesn't think I'm wearing the Burger King crown just for the fun of it; I AM social media.

Well, if I must go out, there was one business that looked pretty nice and big out by the Interstate; maybe I'll go pay them a visit. XYZ Industrial is pretty visible and they do have that nice new office and warehouse with lots of cars.

Let's Google them first; at least if I know the owners name I won't have to walk in like this is actually a cold call. I can't believe a 20 year old gatekeeper is controlling my greatness. Maybe I should tell her what a big deal I am in social.....

Ok, let's see; here they are. Oh great, they have the owner's name listed as William. WTH, what if he goes by Bill or Billy or Will? If I call him the wrong name I will be exposed as a saleman and the receptionist will know, I might as well walk in naked. Man, I hate being at her mercy; too much stress.

Here I go

After finding out who the officers are, number of employees, line of work, competing businesses, etc, etc, etc; I guess I have done all the research I can do. Plus, since I don't have a chair anymore I'm not really diggin' doing all this research standing up.

Ok, time for action. Here's the place and looks like there is a parking spot right in front, sweet. Hey wait a second, who are those suits getting out of that car? It looks like insurance guys to me and there are two of them, crap. How silly would that be if we both walked in the door at the same time? Maybe I better ride around the block a few times; it will probably be better to try after lunch anyway.....yeah, that's the ticket.

After a very nutritious Whopper & fries I have my courage back firing on all cylinders; I am somebody and ready to make the call. As I pull back in to the parking lot, I notice the 'suits' car is finally gone. Thank goodness, how awkward would that have been?

I look in the mirror; yep, hair is looking good, grab the notebook and a business card and it's on baby.

As I approach the door I see a sign that says 'no soliciting'. What? That surely can't mean me; I just want to meet the president. I wonder if the gatekeeper will give me a hard time for breaking their law? Is that considered trespassing? What if William really goes by his middle name? Maybe I better go around the block again and think about this some more.....I sure am sweating; I'm glad I wore a T-shirt too.

Moment of truth

Ok, enough driving, it's already 4:30 pm, my gas is low and it doesn't look like I'm going to get to all 10 of my calls today. If I can just get up enough courage to walk in XYZ Industrial today will be a win; here goes.

I pull back in the space one more time; do the hair and teeth check and all looks good. I go into my mantra you are special, you are somebody, you are a winner several times and now I'm ready to go.

I walk into the reception area put down my card and in my most confident, professional voice I say "hi, I'm Bill Dorman from Lanier Upshaw here to see Bill Miller; is he available?'

The receptionist raises her head and with a startled look responds "sir, did you know your fly is open and is that bird poop on your shirt?" "And why are you wearing a Burger King crown?"

Oh well, they always teach us to differentiate ourselves so sometimes we have to dig really deep, huh?

It was like any other day......