the gatdamn truth?

i had this monkey on my back for the longest time
it was glued to me
claws dug in
like druggin'
on a New Jack City block
horse
blow
and rock
i couldn't shake the strong hold
i mistook this fool's gold
for a life full of gems
all sparkling and s**t
yeah...i thought this was it
 
then i started to feel
what i had been not trying to feel
trying to ignore the real
stick to the deal
didn't want to reveal
the gatdamn truth
i was scared

mama had already said
you don't take women to bed
that was in the back of my head
thought God would never bless us
instead i should expect
regret
reject
from church friends and family
had no idea
she would do the same to me

thought i had
a pair of arms
to run to
bury my face and hide
when i needed to
but....
and i laugh now
but...
those same arms
ended up choking me out
and while i was passed out
i dreamed i had become
this crazy insane chick
didn't know how to leave
when all the signs showed
she was over it
no touch
no talk
no give
no take
nothing at all
but i ignored it all
kept my a*s
right in her face
as she was showing me the door
literally...out of her place

i finally woke up
and the hurt made things clear

i staggered for a while
stumbled and even fell
but when i got up
i got out
i looked back
tried to sneak back
because the sex was good
but even that wasn't the same

i'm all empty
nothing remains
no residual what ifs
or baby let's try again
that monkey is gone
and my back is light
i'm laughing again
and this time
it feels right

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A outstanding story. Monkey on my back. I like the line for a relationship. We should of listen to our mother's. A excellent poem.
Coyote