Chapter 2~ The Shock

        We walked through the door. This was the first time he said anything after the incident, "Dawn?" "Yes.......", I said. "What was that?",he said with a serious expression. I looked at him and I could see all of his wrinkle's. He rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath.

         "Um, well I've kinda..... sorta...... might be having issues with my mind", I said. "What kind of problems?" "Well, I umm heard my pers thoughts............. i kinda might have gotten a pencil to fly up into my hands somehow and............ then this." Then he said, " how long has this been going on?" "Well for about 2 weeks....... now", I said. "And why hasnt this come up at dinner time or some other time", he said. "Do you know what reaction you'd have if i said at dinner, "Hey dad guess what i heard my pers thoughts" you would send me to a mental hospital", I said with frustration.            

           "I see what your point is", he said.

 "Dad, I'll just do some research and see what I......... we can do about.......... this  problem of ours."

"Okay, but if any problems arise you tell me",he said with concern.

"Okay", I said really meaning it.

             I walked up the stairs and a vase hit the wall. I screeched with surprise.

My dad yelled, "Are you okay?"

"Um.............. yeah just our problem."

"Okay", he said, "be careful." He walked up into the hall next to me and hugged me and said, "everything will be okay". I continued down the hall being careful of what I thought about. I reached my room safefully.

             I looked at my door which had a purple and blue poster on it. I turned the door knob and walked in. I kicked off my converses after I walked through the door way. I looked around my room with it's lavender walls and peace sign comforter. I went over to my blue desk and grabbed a hair tie off my desk. I took my long velvety red hair in one hand, I put the hair tie in my other hand and put my hair in a lose bun.

            I sat down and turned on my turquoise computer. After it loaded I typed in www.google.com and it took me to Wikipedia. It said something about superpowers and I felt myself realize the shock. My thoughts ran slow and all of a sudden it hit me. I have super powers.

            I walked down the stairs still in a daze. " DDDad",I said.

" Dawn what's the matter?"

"The Internet said that I have superpowers............", she said softly. He took a a small step back trying to hide the fear and shock, but I could also see love and caring and that over rode the fear. 

"Okay honey lets just take this a step at a time", he said trying to calm his self rather then just me.

Okay, I said, but I said it mentally and it still freaked him out, but not as much.

" First step stop doing that", he sounded creeped out and a little frightened.

" I'm sorry I don't know how to stop it", I said sheepishly.

" Well try not to please."

          After all this happened it was about 9:00 pm. So with everything that had happened today I thought that getting some sleep would help. I went to my dresser. I grabbed my my white t-shirt with a purple bunny on it and a pair of lose fitting purple pants. And got dressed.

          I got in bed. I layed down and pulled the peace sign comforter up to my chin. I fell asleep thinking about my superpowers.

          I woke up with the sunshining on my face. I rubbed my eyes. And slowly sat up. I got up and swung my feet over my bed and groaned. Then I slid my feet into my soft sky blue slippers. I went into the bathroom and undressed. I got into the shower, I let the water gentally fall onto me.

         I finally turned the knob, it made a loud squeak. I tried to make the towel come to me. Why can't I do it? Why can I only make it come to me on accident?  I tried again very hard and it actually worked! "YES!", I said with excitement. I did it! I did it!

         I dried off. When I got out I could see the steam on the mirror. I took my finger and made a heart. I wrapped the towel around my body and headed to my room. I picked out my purple and pink plaid shirt out, a white tanktop, and a pair of jean shorts. I put them on along with with my ankle boots. 

         I walked down the stairs. I jumped off the second step and landed on the carpet with a soft thud. I walked into the kitchen I grabed an apple and took a bite. I sat down at the kitchen table waiting for my Dad to walk down the stairs. He always walks down the stairs about 10:00 a.m. I'll go see if he's okay.

       I walked back up the stairs again. I opened his door. But all I saw was a note on his pillow. I grabed it and it said Dear Dawn,

If you ever want to see your dad again you will have to find someone with powers besides yourself.

                            - Mr. M

Author's Note

I hope you guys love my book. plz tell me your opinion! :) even though it says ignore grammer dont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Nice plot twist with dad being kidnapped by mysterious guy who knows about her powers. Great way to hook readers. I do think it is not necessary to give details like the color of everything and the order she puts her clothes on. On the other hand, more about her fathers reaction to knowing her powers since it seems a bit nonchalant.

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

thank you for the critizim I havent go alot

[Amaya Sullivan]

I agree with Kaddy on dialogue, and never use "..." first only three should be used and second use them maybe when someone is interrupted:

"I can't get you out of mind. There are sometimes where I can't stand you and..."

"You love me?" Kyle finally realizes as a gentle summer breeze catches Tara's light brown hair exposing her pale face. She hesitates placing her pale white hands over her mouth shaking her head from side to side in denial.

Also, use italics when she is using her mind to speak. By the way, "pers" should be "peers". I would say "students" or "everyone" instead.

First thing is first, Dad. He does not seem genuinely "shocked" to me. If anything, he should be freaking out because this abnormal.

Second, you have Dawn explain everything we already know to be true, so I would consider re writing this reveal to her Dad more delicately. Maybe at first he believe it was his imagination, and then she does it again.

The dialogue should be a struggle, so this part should be longer and maybe Dawn is more hesitant in telling her father. I would have her say her Dad's thoughts back to him to prove he isn't crazy after she tell him. The point is to try to easy into Dad accepting Dawn's strange gifts in a docile way. The way it is now is very rushed and you are very anxious in getting to the main idea of the story.

I think you have an interesting idea here, but you need to slow down for a reveal.

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

Thanks ill do that for sure

[Dark Rider]

Nice ending. I'm interested to see how she reacted to this, and what she will do. Nice job. :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

Thanks for reading

[Dark Rider]

You're welcome. :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

:)

[The Invisible Girl]

What happened to her dad?? Who is Mr. M?? Reading next chapter!! :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

thanks for reading and reviewing hope you like it and yesterday I posted chapter 7 too

[The Invisible Girl]

no problem! ^-^

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

k sis
(hope she posts next chapter soon!!!!!)

[Anonymous Girl]

Woah! What happened to her dad? And who is she?
Want to find out what happens next!!!

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

I'll send you a read request for the next chapter and i just posted chapter 6 last night

[Anonymous Girl]

Oh right sure I am going to read it now.. Is it published??

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

which chapter are u talking about

[Anonymous Girl]

Chapter 6?

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

I know chapter 3 is defiantely

[Anonymous Girl]

Oh right.. I will read it now!! :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

k i also sent you a read reaquest for it a couple minutes before

[Anonymous Girl]

Oh right.. Sorry I didn't see it.. I am reading it now :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

its okay i just thought you should now

[Anonymous Girl]

Okay ^^

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

chapter 6 is published sry forgot to awnser ur question earlier

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

k

[Anonymous Girl]

Its okay ^^

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

that's the first thing that came to mind

[lollilove12]

lol mr.m really , funny and a good chapter too :)

[Kadessa (Kaddy)]

whenever you are doing diologe, you need to start a new paragraph. example:
"okay honey, lets just take this a step at a time" he said calmly. (enter.)
"okay" i said butI said it mentally and it still freaked him out, but not as much.
" First step stop doing that", he sounded creeped out.
" I'm sorry I don't know how to stop it", I said sheepishly.
" Well try not to please."