Chapter 1~ Wierd

           As walked into the school all eyes fell on me. All I could see was the purple and black of my converse I was wearing. I am a shy girl, I have never liked the spotlight. I have always been in the shadows until wierd things started happening to me.

           Then it never mattered where I was, I was always in the spotlight. Ever since it happened I wished it would just disapear. I dont even know what it is. I just know it ruined my life.

            I got to my locker I put in the combonation number. I was getting my stuff when the "popular" girls walked by. I tried to hide my face, but like I was saying in the spotlight everywhere I go. They stopped by me locker and took a second look at me. Then their faces clamed up with fear and they scurried away. I sighed and continued on.

           If you want more details about the wierd stuff I was talking about in the beginning then here it comes. Lately I've been able to hear my pers thoughts. I know because sometimes they think out loud. I've also went to go get a pencil and it practical flew in my hands. You wouldn't imagine how freaky that was and not being able to tell my Dad. UUUgggghhhh, it kills meeee.

          It freaks me out sometimes what kids in my class are thinking. They think things that I don't need to know, it's their personal thought's. I dont know if there is a way for me to ignore or learn to control it.

           My name is Dawn. I am 16. I live in Benbrook, Tx. and I am definitely  not normal.

           The reason everyone think's I'm weird is because once they saw that pencil fly into my hands. There jaws dropped. One of the most funniest things I've ever seen, but at the time it wasn't hilarious it was super freaky. All I wanted was to hide. I was never noticed and I wanted to keep it that way.

            I sat in class keeping my hands and thoughts away from almost everything except my work. Then my thoughts drifted back to what we were doing. And i heard Mrs. Hethal say, " Now the class period is about to end and your homework is laying on the desk by the door. And dont forget to do the back of your homework. There is no excuses like, "I didnt hear what you said".              

            Then the bell rang and we all got up. I grabbed my homework and ran to my locker I put in the combantion. I grabed my backpack put all my homework in and walked toward the front door where my dad is picks me up from school.

            My dad pulled up in his green toyota truck. The way the light hit the car it sparkled. I opened up the door and put my backpack in. Then I hoped into the passenger side. I sinked into the seat. And my dad pulled away from the school.      

           Then he said, "Hey Dawn how was your day."

Good. The horrible thing was somehow I said but my mouth didn't move.

            There was shock registered all over his face. This was one of those moments that I just wanted to disapear. He stopped the car with a screech and turned the car off. I looked into his crystal blue eyes as he looked into my light brown eyes. We sat like that for 30 seconds.

            His jaw was still hanging open. I'm surprised he hasn't caught any flies. He closed his jaw and ran his hand through his brown/red hair. And he took a deep breath turned the car back on and started driving home again.

Author's Note

Plz review me I hope u like it! Plz tell me if there is anything I need to change to make it better!

Reviews

[Amaya Sullivan]

I agree with W.V Bard about the grammar

I still catch myself doing this as well, so "there" and "their" are two different things: "The reason everyone think's I'm weird is because once they saw that pencil fly into my hands. There jaws dropped."

Also, I cannot believe no one told you this, but it's "weird" not "wierd". I know weird looks weird, but its correct. Oh, and "peers" I think this is just a typo, it happens I understand.

I do not think you should "jump into the frying pan" right into the story. It should be gradual. Reflect on how much of an outcast Dawn is in school and reflect on some instances and altercations.

Your idea is sound, and you know where you want to take the story it appears. Slow down and concentrate on Dawn. You are Dawn while you are writing about her, so put on her converses and walk down the hallways with her. This may help you pace yourself it's helped me when I write.

I hope this helps and I will continue to read this.

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

It does thank you

[Dark Rider]

Interesting. I like your idea, and I'm curious to see what happens. Nice job so far. :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

Thanks

[Dark Rider]

You're welcome.

[Horizon K.]

Very interesting... Sounds like she has multiple powers going on. Lots of spelling errors though.

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

Sry not the best seller

[The Invisible Girl]

Very interesting!! Reading on! :)

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

k and I just chapter 7 today so awesome

[W.V. Bard]

It jumps into the plot too fast; you should describe how weird things happen to her rather than simply stating it right off the bat.
Also, some grammar errors.

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

thank you for the grammar errors i will go back over and add others as well

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

read the next chapter and find out :)

[Anonymous Girl]

That's good... Really good... Is Dawn a vampire???

[Art Lover/Love Writing]

thanks

[lollilove12]

love it super cool