(Unfinished)

This has no title and is unfinished. Suggestions and help would be absolutely LOVELY

Bright shining star
Far up in the sky
I see you from the tar
And can only think “oh my”

I want to sit and gaze
Upon your God given beauty
With which you amaze
God’s children, including me

Author's Note

help.

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

It presents a wonderful visual as is. I'd would suggest making the last line read, "God's children, yours truly" Thus it would match the rhyme scheme you had going on. Other than that, it was enjoyable. =)

Aaron

[Arte Por Vida]

Hmm.. I like that. At least, how it sounds. I'll have to think about how it'd fit, though.

[c.m.]

My opinion? It's already finished.