Demons

I don't know if this is done yet. I feel like I should add more. 8.14.12

There are demons here
Gathering in their dark cloud
Filled with destruction and rage
An inescapable and formless trap

With the sent of alcohol and smoke
Breathing is hindered
And the mumbled words of a drunk
Make a heart break in two

Anger explodes from one
Vulgar words heard for miles
Fear instilled in the young ones
Everyone wants to get away

A toxic cloud comes out from another
Lingering around her body
Who would want to come near
When it would only bring certain peril

 

Reviews

[Soul Fire]

Very visual poem.Great word choice.:) I think theres more to this poem :) Great work! keep writing!

[Arte Por Vida]

Thank you!
What do you think it could use to make it better..?

[Soul Fire]

You're welcome! I think theres more to the poem,like it's not finished ":)

[Arte Por Vida]

I agree. Thanks again for the input (:

[Soul Fire]

You're welcome :D

[zainul]

I agree with you that it should add more.

[Arte Por Vida]

I thought so.. This much of it just came to me one day.. Thanks for the input!

[zainul]

Thanks for sharing.
You have honestly said what was possible at some point of time.
Poem does not behave always the same way.
Sometimes it comes like a pouring rain.
Sometimes it is affected by drought.