The Circle of Life

I feel ill.

Too many diverse emotions coursing their way through my soul...
electifying me...igniting my heart...




I feel like an overloaded circuit...
sparks flying within...
I'm on a race course speeding towards destruction,
destruction of myself, and the carefully set-up house of cards around me....

I'm about as stable as that house of cards..
at some points I'm weak and wobbly,
and situations force me to break down and cry,
something I know how to do best...

Other times i'm euphoric, and over the moon;
so sure i could touch the skies,
and right the universe to suit me..

I'm in the middle of a tug of war...
being tugged by head and heart...
one towards my responsibility, and duty,
and surity and sanity...

The other tugs me towards love,
that perfect love that people have sought for their entire lives,
and I've found it...
but I'm scared it wont be requited...

I'm aware that there are some responsibilities i just can't shirk,
and those come as a spanner in the works in the way of my new found Utopia,
which I don't want to give up...




I know I'm going too fast,
I should learn to savour the flavour of perfection,
Simply sample the sublimity of forbidden intimacy in small doses,
but just powerful enough to keep me way up there...

I could be drunk on love...
It's the best feeling in the world...
as long as all goes well,
one could never hope for more...

But no matter how strong the foundation of love,
insecurity eats away at the base, leaving it shaky...
and it's the euphoria and blind oblivity to truth
that pulls one through the rockiest bits...

I am ready to love, and give all i've got...
but circumstancesand loyalty and profound guilt,
and sheer willingness keep me tied to what i worry about..

....... my commitments...




I am sad... i want to have my cake and eat it too...
I know love may never truly shine through,
because the object of my euphoria
says i have committed myself to something
that will be sure to sting later on.

I agree.
It might just bite. we might just fight.
But i dont see how,
without taking the chance,
I could go on....

... To know i have in my hand the most precious jewel in the world;
my Elixir of life...
and to let it go would be utter foolishness...

I would be left without a purpose in life,
without aim and direction,
trapped within the confines of the four unbarred prison walls of my house..

... the place i grew up in, but only grew to hate with time...




My heart is racing,
I feel it rising to almost a fever pitch.
My eyes are burning
and i know my euphoria over my prize is affecting my health..

... but i hunger for nothing other.

Looking around this room, i see a mirror.
In the mirror, i can be whom so ever i want to be..
..there is no limit

It is so easy for us to be idealistic,
it;s like the extract of the sweet scent of roses on a day so warm,
where love and luck shine down so bright...

... but it is to be able to swallow bitterness with a smile, and hold it down,
and tinge the basics of life with cynicism that really make a person.




It is getting harder to breathe.
I want to become a recluse,
locking myself into my own little shell,
not interacting or doing anything
that could taint or tarnish even slightly
the beauty of what i have seen...

I never want to lose these visions; visions that have changed my life so!




Fake people, with fake standards,
people expect us to understand,
but never make known their motives,
making them severly misunderstood,
but also severly hated...

Maybe we ought to stick with our obligations,
with what we have,
because, altease we know our worth in their eyes...
yes, they are a less than perfect option of what we want,
and even as a reflection of the enigmatic potion we dubbed our elixir,
they can hardly even begin to do justice...
Maybe we just expect too much...

Infidelity seems to be inbuilt in us...
the grass is always thousands of shades greener on the other side,
and with each passing blade of grass,
our envy starts to match,
colour for colour,
shade for shade...

.... we start to ponder the dramatic irony that is life...

And then we succumb to evil, to temptation,
and are as bad as all the other fake people in the world.
We loathe ourselves,
but not enough to stop...



I am a child,
wandering, lost,
in the wilderness of life's possibilities,
of love i strove to find..
And like a treasure so precious,
that of which possession can
lead to doom and my destruction,
I wonder if I will have to,
If with the utmost reluctance,
give up what I most prize,
before I'm charred beyond recognition,
Like a moth drawn to a flame,
a flame that never stop,
to think, or feel, or have compassion,
before destroying utterly and completely
it;s prey!

Like the snap dragon plant,
whose jaws only part
after the victim has been
made crushed, and swallowed..
with no signs of bringing it back...

An over exageration,
Surely, one would think,
And risk not being loved back,
Or being toyed with, could be,
the most dangerous thing yet to happen.
To know we meant nothing...

The elixer is self sufficient,
Immortal, ever lasting,
dignified, alight in it;s own splendor,
show cased in crystal,
sparkling colours emancipated
from the delicately cut glass,
showing the Elixir has a way
of endorsing those who surround it
with some of its attributes of wisdom,
and an ever glowing shine,
and a sheen that cannot be superceded...

But the Elixir can snatch it away,
whenever it likes,
fortunate are those
in the presence of the Elixir,
To be embraced by it's warmth,
and to grow in it's wholesomeness.

As does the entire universe,
As it goes around the sun,
In never ending concentric circles,
The Circle Of Life.

All will end
but the Elixir will never fade

Bee
Friday night
16th Dec 05
10:50 to 11:20 pm

Reviews

[Blood Ink Diary]

You took me on a very deep journey - I was already reading Mansur Al-Hallaj writings today as it was his Urs on march 26...Reading 'The Circle of Life' has pierced the marrow. Am speechless at the power of this poem, thus...I shan't pen much, but, send you a warm smile. Cheers,

[Coyote Poetry]

You are a amazing writer. You write with the skill of a experience writer. The story was powerful. Life will test us many times. We will overcome may things in a life. I loved how you expressed life tests. I enjoyed the complete poem. A very good ending to a outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[The Old Ashes]

This was incredible.
I am quite honestly without any constructive criticism.
Yes, it was very long indeed
but after I started I was unable to stop.
"Infidelity seems to be inbuilt in us...
the grass is always thousands of shades greener on the other side,
and with each passing blade of grass,
our envy starts to match,
colour for colour,
shade for shade...

.... we start to ponder the dramatic irony that is life... "

My favorite verse by far.
Once again,
amazing.
Think it would make a badass song if you shortened it down a little bit and gave it a song structure. The theme is awesome
The rhyme and flow aren't really there but It has more of a prose feeling to me than a poem so thats okay.
100/100