my torn heart

This is for you all to understand what I sent to my family before she passed away

My brothers and sister and parents are the world to me they are everything that I wish I could be; Liam my newest little one. Is the joy of my life he laughs he smiles he’s so cute he’s every baby a mother would want but thank god he’s mine and not another’s I love him more than anything I wish I could see him but I’m on the road passing by road Te-ague look I’m not the best sister but I am trying my best as an older sister. I will always love Dylan he is my 2^nd little brother I love this boy with all my heart and he knows it I just wish I could tell him that I honestly can’t stand knowing that he’s in the hospital it’s his 2^nd time in his life. I love him and honest to god before any of this happened something told me that someone was going to the hospital I just didn't know who it’s my fault he’s there if I would of just stayed none of this would happen I wish I could turn back the clock and just stayed there with him. I could be there right now I could be staying there right by his side but you know what it was, it was all about me I wanted to go and I wanted to leave I hate myself I’m a horrible sister. I should just say hi my names Alyssa and I just lied to one of the only people that I truly love and now he’s in the hospital probably dreaming about how I lied and how I’m not there for him. I hate my guts I deserve to die on the spot. If the lord’s angels protect Dylan and let him live I will truly be in his debt. You see I promised Dylan nothing will ever happen to him and now look he’s in the hospital with mom and Lauren and Liam dad’s on his phone calls. I wish I could be there whispering little prayers of hope in his ear. I had a dream that Dylan died but by a car accident mom knows what I’m talking about I wish I wasn't a burden in his life I wish I could be a somebody for him I honestly wish that god will bless Dylan and if not then that’s his choice not mine I love Dylan a lot I hope and pray that I’ll see him another day. Now Lauren, Lauren is my wing man she always backs me up whenever someone picks on me I can rely on her she’s everything my life needs to be I wish I could be like her. She’s my little sister the one o can talk to a lot about my troubles if she dies than my whole world will die. Mother and father you two are like my hero’s the ones I can always listen to when I’m down and hurt I can learn from you to so I can get stronger I love you two so much that if you two died my life wouldn't even mean a thing I love you.

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[Alyssa]

some days I wonder where did I go wrong?