You

For my fiancee.

Give me strength when I'm broken
Hold me through the darkest nights
Tell me you love me when I'm hopeless
Take my pain just for a while

Love me unconditionally
With epic devotion and care
Make sweet love with endless emotion
Look at me with such tender warmth

Mean more to me than anyone
You'll never truly understand
Exactly how much I need you
Exactly how much I care.

Author's Note

"You" can be added to the beginning of most lines. I just didn't want it to get repetitive.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Such a sweet one....I think most of us want to have someone like the one you are describing.....I love the way you want that person to be your guide and love you unconditionally....Great work....Full ratings.....

[78Jon]

Hmm. I'm not a professional poem study guy, so I don't really know on what basis to critique poems. It sounds like it's about a significant other.

[andrew mitchell]

An endearing lovely write

[bathtime]

Thanks! I appreciate it :)

[Khawaja Musadiq]

This is a beautiful piece. I love the way you've expressed everything. WellDone!

[bathtime]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Christina … it is Richard here, to read and review for you! 😃

Note:
If one is a female, their betrothed would (normally) be her fiancé.
If one is a male, their betrothed would (normally) be his fiancée.
Thus, from your introduction comment "fiancee", I am not certain which genre your poem is in homage to.
Still, strictly poetically speaking, it makes no difference, except to the imagination, of course.

Sooo very smooth, tender, hopeful, entreating, emotively expressive, and your word choices speak in a truly romantically-tempered softness, that would certainly be near impossible to say, "No!" to.
Strictly for ease of flow, consider "Take my pain for just awhile" in V1L4. V2L4, consider a more powerful poetic voice than "such" … perhaps, "tender" or "such tender" warmth, or some-such.

Whatever; I love it, Christina, obviously … wink*
Warmest, most grateful hugs to you for sharing! ⁓ Richard

[bathtime]

Thank you so much!
Yes, I totally agree about the line with warmth. I was having a hard time with it when I wrote it. Just one of those things I guess. I think I'm going to add tender. I really like the feel of it.

Thanks so much for your words. I'm glad you enjoyed my work. :)

[Richard🖌]

I was my pleasure, Christina! ⁓ RJ : )

[MelissaAndres]

Very nice! You sound like one lucky girl. Love is quite evident in this piece. I can understand how you didn't want to get repetitive but a little repetition isn't always a bad thing. I hope you shared this with your guy and that he absolutely adored it. Great job!

[bathtime]

I haven't shared this with him! He honestly doesn't even know that I write things. I'm not sure why I haven't told him to be honest.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and could tell there's love in the piece. Repetition definitely isn't always a bad thing, but I just preferred it this way, for this piece specifically. It kind of changes the piece a little (I find) to put you in front of it. From a piece demanding the love (without you), to a piece of gratitude almost (with you). So I leave it to the readers to decide which they prefer. :)

[MelissaAndres]

It is difficult to share our writings with others, especially the people we love because we are afraid they won't understand, will question us or say something to downgrade the importance of how we feel about what we do. I am not saying he will do that to you, but sharing sometimes can be a very scary experience so believe me, I completely understand.

With your poem I can see it being many different ways - with YOU over even with your guy's NAME in the forefront; either way it is very well done. :)

[Gee]

You in this case makes a "we".Enjoyed your poem

[bathtime]

Thanks. Appreciate it! :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Sounds like your fiancee is a keeper! May your love last for many years to come. Lovely emotions. Lydi**

[bathtime]

Thank you thank you thank you! He really is a keeper.

[man Atek]

Very nice poem. You can add background description: who are "you" on your title and why do you write paragraph 1th, like : /Give me strength when I'm broken/. May be he/she is a person who really exact to take help something or anything else, so you has more expectation to him/her. About this you can select sentence, for example : You are my oxygen. May be its makes your poetry become power full and has meaning interested to communicate with reader. Okay ... keep your momentum to write your poem. Sipsip, mantaf!

[bathtime]

Yes. I didn't want the poem to be cluttered with 'me' stuff. If you read my other poems it all makes sense. Granted everyone doesn't, I see where you're coming from. I mentioned who it was about in the description as well.

Thanks for your advice/critique. I truly appreciate it!