It's Brewing, I'm Afraid, and He's Holding Back the Nicotine.

 

It's pathetic

how this resembles the drifting, half attempted smiles that appeared on the carpets

in the middle of 2005...

it's abhorrent, his teeth, his grinding simplicity...

it's

pathetic how I try, burning holes in the ground with heels that forgot how to kick...

and it stalls, time frustrated with me...

I'm

pathetic in his arms...

I'm not beautiful when he holds me.

It's....

not what I chose to do this time around, he's imitating last week and I'm losing myself in the repetition of his cinema...

if he appreciated art I may morph, somehow, into Dali, I may...

melt

when he forgot me, when he starved me, when I fell....

I scream, my voice isn't heard, I echo off his walls as he whispers that he loves me, I bounce back and forth over undusted corners and nicotine stained ceilings that sunlight never touches, and I amuse him

as he whispers...

that he loves me.

It's out of hand this time, I can't hold on...

he's crossed the line and requested I draw straight into January, but I can't see her this time, I can't envision tomorrow, I can't calculate Sunday...

it's pathetic...

the way he's miles away and I still control the way he controls me...

it's insanity brewing and I wonder if I'll end up like them...

falling from his ceilings as he watches with a half attempted smile, as he brushes back tears

and whispers

that he

owns

me.

Reviews

[Tara]

So many wonderful lines, but this one stood out for me. : "...he's imitating last week and I'm losing myself in the repetition of his cinema." That line touched me, because it expressed that feeling of not being real to him...life is not real to him...you are just another character in his film. Of course I also love "..the way he's miles away and I still control the way he controls me... "In that line is the strength of knowing you do have the control..you allow it. I love a good honest admission.

[Moflo]

Wow, what a powerful piece. You have a great sense of fear in these words that the reader can pick up on, you're using emotions very well. Great work.

[Eagle Cruagh]

Always impressed. First I am overwhelmed by
the quality of your writing, but having assimilated
that, I ponder the tendency of the female to
gravitate to abusive males.
And, my urge to yell, what the hell is wrong with
you ? But, then I have to remind myself; that was
just good writing that upset you, it was just a story
afterall.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Antonio Valentino]

Some very incredible writing here, enjoyed your unique style. Good luck with the cigs, they are a hard habit to break.

Fantastic.

[Firestar4532]

Right on time with your numbers, slightly off-color than your usual, even a bit haunting with unrest.

[Doctor JKC]

The form lends much to the content.
The cry of the submissive caught up in
a momentum that she is unable to disperse.
You don't stay in a relationship unless
your getting what you need.
Dr. Callaghan

[Perdition]

It's too early for me to throw my computer across the room ...yet with these offerings I can hardly do otherwise. You go morph into Dali and I'll be over there ripping out every page of every book ever written...Jesus you are an incredible scream !

[Catti*Bre]

Reading this was like living the words. You have a very wonderful art of writing. The words practically leap off the page into reality.
Amazing work. My kudos to you