An Attempt to Capture the Laziness of Time.

 

The sun is dying, she's falling, I'm content in his arms this month, like the delicious curling of a kitten stretching out in a July afternoon window, oblivious to the chaos of a busy street and fascinated with the shadows she casts but only enough to bat at them occasionally.

He's perfect like this, when he settles and simmers down, when he's lazy and I catch some of that,as his breath runs over my skin like sleep and I smile, effortlessly, at his dreams. I wish forever could occur in this fashion, the cobwebs of the mind attaching themselves to fingertips and time allowing the study of that which is inside, the corners could become dusted then, if there were enough time to dissolve one's toes in the dirt and find it nothing less than delightful. I imagine him in slow motion, the batting of an eyelash and he makes me feel as if I can hear the reverberating sound of my own blinking, that, to me, is brilliant, that, to me, is love and I wonder, this time, how we could have never known it was right in front of us.

I pick myself apart quite often, to find the why's, the how's, to understand everything about me. I am obsessed with time, I can visualize numbers falling in my head, dates liquefying and clocks that resemble the mind of Dali himself. It makes my hair curl and my lips tremble and I always feel as if I'm losing, missing out on something important, as if I'll become lost in the hours that the sun sinks, pieces of me drifting off into the horizon and becoming stuck on some unsuspecting star. To hang in the night without the illumination of tomorrow and the only ones to even glance at you would be the selfish wishmakers, well, they'd never notice at all. How frightening, I think, how terrifying, and, yes, I do believe this may be worse than death. Too vivid my imagination, maybe, but, you see, when he's calm, as October seems to be this year, he slows it all down, he stops the racing of fear and I can experience every moment as my toes curl, deliciously, next to him.

 

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Everything I read of yours is perfection and always goes right in my favorites... Somehow, I dream that I might one day write as honestly and skillfully as you. You amaze me...

Craig