Not Tonight, I Swear, I Promise, Not Next to Him.

 

He's not...

that discordant surreal Sunday,

he's not that memory, he's not these crooked tears

and I swear, I promise

I'm not...

broken, on the floor, shards of me reflecting

him.

I'd turn around and pick this up, everything that's collected underneath me, torn up scraps of love notes and the remains of

February

I'd be desperate if I found that to be attractive and piece together the scrawled frightened letters that destructed proclamations, that whispered promises, broken by the screaming of

hope.

We'll be someone, somewhere...

I swear, I promise

he'll find me somewhere, even if it's just my name...

scrawled out in despair by lonely, desperate hands that couldn't see me on the border of life that existed on a dirty, fingerprint~decorated wall.

I know we're afraid of losing beauty and I drop to my knees~bruised as they are~I wince in pain and cover my arms~

skinny as they are~

and pray the years are kind, pray these tears won't ruin me in the filth of stained pillows that refuse to forget...

that Sunday night...

that refuse to allow me to sleep alone.

He's not...

cruel but he's

crooked

and I straighten him out with the silence of my name, holding him, folded, in my arms~

bruised as they may be~

as his legs intertwine around my knees, knobby, skinny, and far too tired...

but I'm not...

broken, I swear, I promise...

not tonight~

anyway~

not next to him.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Raja]

Indcredible, Marvelous, Awesome, and sleek.

Also, nice way of arranging the words that are quite clear in meaning.

"We'll be someone, somewhere...

I swear, I promise

he'll find me somewhere, even if it's just my name...

scrawled out in despair by lonely, desperate hands that couldn't see me on the border of life that existed on a dirty, fingerprint~decorated wall."

I like this part very much.

Thank You.

Raja.

[robin]

There are many dimensions to this beautiful tragedy...the needy acquiescence, the faded hope, the fresh eyes lingering in the background, the sense of duty and righteousness, all heartbroken here...Truly splendid!

[Kara Emily Krantz]

anddd this is why i love you. okay fine there are a million reasons, but your poetry will always be the first and the last reason. :)

everything in between is just a gift, of the world to me, of knowing you.

"and I swear, I promise
I'm not...
broken, on the floor, shards of me reflecting
him."

one of the best lines of poetry i've ever read :)

"broken by the screaming of
hope."

doesn't it always shatter the silence?

"I know we're afraid of losing beauty and I drop to my knees~bruised"

yes yes yes i love that. love the way it connected

"stained pillows that refuse to forget..."
it's true, the pillow doesn't forget the tears you cried into it.

"not tonight~
anyway~
not next to him."

gorgeous ending. crazy how the person who breaks you can also be the reason you're still being held together.

ah, my love. muah!