His Unrelenting Insanity and the Secret Behind Adoring a Psychopath.

 

It was cold then, that Saturday, when his arms let go...

there were ten thousand women I would have rather been in that moment, there were three hundred different voices I wished to possess, there were seventeen things I wanted to say and I would have

cut my hair

so he never would have known me at all.

He wasn't the heart that beat me, no, he was the shadow I fell behind and the wind that kissed me when Autumn dropped, I survived though my tongue swelled from all the honesty that was stuck there, my teeth mimicked the clock~

ticking and clicking~

as I waited for time

to heal me...

and I thought I knew better than that, I would have told you, if you had asked me in that moment,

that I never knew love and April never touched me,

April never left her prints across my back.

It's sunlight that scars the eyes, leaving flashes of memories that are never there, arms reach out to hold her when midnight strikes, staining hallways with tears and fingers that grasp at nothing, he never saw me in those moments, I

hid out

in the shadows that traced him, I disappeared somewhere beneath him and he was never the type to

look down

he never learned how to fall.

I studied my feet and forgot who I was when he smiled, his teeth never kept even with time anyway, his tongue always spoke of things minutes had never felt and I knew who we were despite denial, the denial that stuck to me when I couldn't swallow...

the truth that was written all over my back.

He turned me over, God, he flipped me around, he was

everything

when nothing mattered and I lay there pressing my stomach against May, ecstasy erasing logic once again, he whispered in my left ear and his words

stuck

inside of me, appearing in front of my eyes like shadows at midnight when sunlight burned my sight and insanity questioned me for hours, for the time that kept

ticking and clicking

through my teeth

when I begged for him

danced under empty blankets and messed my bed, made my knees rise, caused my thighs to forget logic and the promises that were impossible to keep but repeated themselves when tears stained my face and loneliness placed her chilled hands across my back...

marking me, forcing screams to roll off of my swollen tongue, turning me into

ten thousand different woman and two lips that never stopped

moving

to kiss him when time healed me and the months I stood in his shadow

grew out my hair.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Who among Fire]

love the style & composition! rather provoking!
oh, and we have the same name: JeanMarie
:)

[Legion]

I am deeply impressed with this. To lose yourself inside someone so deeply (and not necessarily in a good way as you pointed out), is very overwhelming once you finally realize it has happened. You are an excellent writer not only of words but emotion. Well done and kudos to you.