Conflicted (or star crossed lovers)

Not a day goes by I don't think of you

you have permeated my fortress and walk freely in all its rooms
(examining it's furnishings)

how did I allow you entry without the

usual search scan and seizure ?

I'ts like a foreign substance and all

my antibodies are seeking to eradicate

your presence (anti-christs)

My mind and heart find your entrance exhilarating 

like ecstasy ( a neurologically happy drug ,

which by the way I've never imbibed in but the

other one I'm only slightly familiar with)

My body wants to throw you off like some

intruder to the death it lies in bondaged slavery of.

I finally understand the WAR.

I want to isolate this substance and imbibe at will

or as often as I desire.

There's no corner on the market for this substance,

you can only get this by freely accepting it as your 

own life blood , the loss of which kills us , but it's

flow is what keeps us alive.

I desire to lay in it's bliss

like basking in a warm sun's rays

unfortunately I burn easily , so I usually limit 

my exposure to substances I feel may do me damage.

But OH , HOW GOOD this FEELS , as though I should

have been born to this naturally .

But NO , love is not the natural substance of the world

in it's battlements and fortresses erected by men and

so thoroughly indoctrinated into his very being .

I just want to bottle this and share it with everyone.

But everyone "knows" every really really great substance

wears off and kicking the habit is way way painful .

But I want to suck this up and live in it , to have the heat

of it never dim , until it is an all consuming fire that lights

everything in it's sphere . Yes LOVE JUNKIE , child of God

a shameless addict to truth about the paths people choose

to "lose" themselves on . 

I've been like a bloodhound sniffing out every trail looking

for this substance the one that transforms you into fully

brilliantly vibrantly alive , and to roll in it until every fiber

of my being is saturated with it's fragrance.

The factory that manufactures this is built within , 

and I want unlimited access  , but my own body has

set up perimeters and walls to fence off my full access 

to my own God given life source ..(the curse)

You can only have full admittance when you can use

it's power to give life and not destroy others , to be 

able to manage it usefully for the benefit of all.

But I'm a natural indulgent in what feels good , 

substances always on the intake , seeking to have a 

balm that shields me from being abused or seeing 

my own abuses of Life. My ability to utilize a substance

so powerful is limited by my training , my will and my

exposure to everything that seeks to sell it on the open

market like a thrill seeker , or cheap w***e who can be

had for a bouquet and dinner , which is quickly consumed

in one night and disappears tomorrow . Nothing that the

world offers can even slightly imitate the magnitude and 

power residing where Love dwells . When you've been 

allowed to taste its manna , the desire for a plateful

is now not even enough but the drive to constant partaking

of its presence is now an all consuming fire and I am 

driven to sign up for the lifetime plan . For better is a life

that feeds on love daily , than to choke and suffocate on

the bowls of hatred served up daily in the worlds menu.

I have relished the view from opposite sides of the room ,

when you're ready  for the permanent plan you will 

have to crossover to the other side . I know you read me,

like the good book , and when you understand you can

hide it from the world , but not from me , or yourself .

We want full access to the wellspring of life and love , I'm

willing to share the source , but it's a limited partnership (MLP)

on a lifetime plan , but it's riches are infinite and can only

be provided by the source. If you're willing to crossover , 

I'll allow you re-entry and full access ... Love  

COPYRIGHT © 2013 C Michael Miller
via Duboff Law Group LLC