our goodbyes

we ought to never leave what we truly love behind. because when we come to miss it, sometimes it not there to go back to

"Twilight, where are you taking me"

It was indeed a surprise, but my brother couldn't contain himself. We crawled out my bedroom windowwe reached the top. He was skeptical you could say it was just the roof of our house but I wouldn't miss this one moment every morning just before dawn.

"shh, you'll see, i musn't spoil it for you."

I looked down on him pulling himself onto the roof we had no trouble, after all we are well strong. He looked around disapointed its nit anything special just a roof for now we needed the elevation to get the true feeling our one story house wasnt very high but the house itself was on a hill, and the moon filled the frame of our sight.

"I don't understand"

I didn't expect him to, but he will once the time comes there's only a few minutes left until it happens and i wouldn't want hi to miss it for the word.

"Demonic, sit. silence, we must be silent don't think just feel, everything, everything around you tke it in."

We sat down and i felt the light breeze push against my neck, i glanced at Demonic he felt it too. We can't breathe, ever well we can we just don't have too, but as dawn just peeked for about one second it suffocted us. We felt alive the pressure against our lungs, we could breathe again. Demonic needed to experience it.

"Twilight?? whats just happened? i could....breathe?"

"Yes, you needed to feel this."

"That was, was amazing, Twilight, I'll never miss it again."

I was glad Demonic liked it, i knew he would but it was still a relief.

"Demonic, I showed you this know because, well first happy birthday."

"happy birthday Twilight, it is your birthday too, forgot? We are twins"

I laughed but i continued.

"yes i suppose so, next birthday I'll be in  a new world in a new body, and you won't be there. I can't imagine I'll miss you, You've been  the best thing thats ever happened."

I lived for many reasons but without Demonic, They all don't seem important anymore.

"Demonic, listen

I'm leaving with no absolution of ever seeing any of you guys again, there's never any absolution of anything. I'm not looking foward to leaving but i suppose i must. Live Demonic i need to come back to, please you must live."

i almost cried

"I will live, I'll miss you a birthday will never be the sme, forget that nothing with be the same, we need your essense."

Demonic made me cry but i suppose it was unavoidable he held me close to him, and he cried to.

"Goodbye?"

i asked that was an absolution even though i wasnt leaving for another well almost a year it was indeed goodbye.

"Goodbye, Twilight."

Author's Note

When goodbyes only hurt you
the word gets bigger, more significant
and it gets stuck in our throat

Reviews

[Tony]

I like how this was presented, the picture was vivid, the meaning behind it true, but that is reality. Although the persons were of one heart, the fact that you used the name Demonic, tells me your inner thoughts of a split personality. To me you are saying goodbye to that other personality. That is how I read this, it can be interpreted in a few ways. If in fact it is a goodbye to an actual other person, than yes...it may come back to haunt us, but life is a haunting experience. It is never perfect, lessons to be learned and a reality to be ready, when the goodbyes happen. What hurts more? having to say goodbye, or knowing it will never be the same again? It is a crap shoot. You have provoked some thought and that is good.

I would suggest that you reread what you write, before you post...this story could have been much better, to the reader if you had checked your spellling and grammar. Don't take offense, it is just some constructive criticism. It will help you grow as a writer.

[Gabriella]

This is a really interesting story, obviously there is some subculture going on here, but the problem is that I can't tell what it is. What exactly are these creatures?

Also, I feel that this piece is lacking proofing enough to affect understanding. For instance, I had to read this sentence a few times before I could understand it what you meant to say: "We can't breathe, ever well we can we just don't have too, but as dawn just peeked for about one second it suffocted us."

Corrections of the simple things like capitalizing the beginning of a sentence and proper punctuation make all the difference if you want this taken seriously, and I can see by the subject matter that you do mean to be quite serious here.

One more note: do you mean for the character's name to be Demonic or is that a spelling error? As I'm sure you know, "demonic" is an adjective (pronounced dee-MON-ik) meaning evil or demon-like. Did you mean to call him something like Dominic or is this intentional?

Very good start with this even though it could use some work, good luck.