That night....

the dark night that changed it all...the night that saw no day......

It's post mid night

as the phone rings...

he reaches to it

almost in shivers to see her name flashing...

he answers the call...

"Hello" she says

his heart skips a beat

as he hears her voice...

stirring the deepest of his cores

he'd been dying to hear her

ever since they last fought...

but his heart sank low...scared as to what made her call

his lip quivers as he talks...

 

his fears came true as she spoke those dredged words

"I'm stepping out of your life...I just can't take it anymore..."

before he could get a hold of his dying self

and that heart  that just stopped beating

before any word could escape his frozen self

she hung up on him with a last "good bye"....................

 

He dropped to his knees

as tears escaped his eyes

he lay there on the ground

his black heart burnt in pain.....

 

Everthing stood still in the silence

his loss the darkness mourns

as died a heart full of love

at the hands of hate filled thorns...

 

"His heart was truly shattered that night

he lost his vibrant soul

he swore to die with her memories

rather than just let go...."

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jason]

This is deep and powerful. I really like the way it captures the two sides after a fight, where one is ready to move on and the other is more excited about the chance at their love again. Really well written, and in all honesty it kind of reminds me of my past a bit. Thank you for sharing. I am going to add this to my favs if you don't mind.

[deeps]

This is so sad
expressed so well.
The flow is wonderful also.
Well written

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Much pain and sadness in the ending of some relationships such as this poem represents. Though beautifully penned. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[hattrick1090]

With few words you have written an entire story. I feel understood after i read it.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I really loved the way you have written this piece of writing..
The flow is simply outstanding!
""His heart was truly shattered that night
he lost his vibrant soul" - It is not very often when we read something so heart wrenchingly beautiful like this...It was exceptionally brilliant and beautifully sad indeed :'(

[Vaishali..^_^]

"His heart was truly shattered that night
he lost his vibrant soul
he swore to die with her memories
rather than just let go...."

this was just awesome. ..
you expressed it all very well. .

great work. .

thanks for sharing. . .:)

[Stephanie]

That was an intense and extremely relatable piece... I followed along with every part, and remembered things that happened to me that caused me to feel the same... Totally torn apart with no hope of feeling happy again.

"he'd been dying to hear her
ever since they last fought...
but his heart sank low...scared as to what made her call
his lip quivers as he talks..."

I know that feeling way too well....better than I'd like to know it. Here's a huge hug for you:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I hope you feel better :]

This was great.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

Wow this blew me away apple...I love it! it is very sad though.
Great Job