That night....

the dark night that changed it all...the night that saw no day......

It's post mid night

as the phone rings...

he reaches to it

almost in shivers to see her name flashing...

he answers the call...

"Hello" she says

his heart skips a beat

as he hears her voice...

stirring the deepest of his cores

he'd been dying to hear her

ever since they last fought...

but his heart sank low...scared as to what made her call

his lip quivers as he talks...

 

his fears came true as she spoke those dredged words

"I'm stepping out of your life...I just can't take it anymore..."

before he could get a hold of his dying self

and that heart  that just stopped beating

before any word could escape his frozen self

she hung up on him with a last "good bye"....................

 

He dropped to his knees

as tears escaped his eyes

he lay there on the ground

his black heart burnt in pain.....

 

Everthing stood still in the silence

his loss the darkness mourns

as died a heart full of love

at the hands of hate filled thorns...

 

"His heart was truly shattered that night

he lost his vibrant soul

he swore to die with her memories

rather than just let go...."

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jason]

This is deep and powerful. I really like the way it captures the two sides after a fight, where one is ready to move on and the other is more excited about the chance at their love again. Really well written, and in all honesty it kind of reminds me of my past a bit. Thank you for sharing. I am going to add this to my favs if you don't mind.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Beautiful ending! Moving and tremedously REAL! A great poem - I read your second one first but I adore them both. Thanks so much for penning them - a true delight - you have certainly captured the essence of loss here.
Light,
Siddartha

[Dallisa <3]

this poem was a pleasure to read painful but enjoyable the red throughout the verses really makes a difference

[Rachel Koepke]

this is great i also liked the two sides and it was very deep and understandable. great peom
@--}-- --{--@
starrunner

[Ama May Cooper]

:'( This was so painful to read, i loved it so much the use of font and colour breaking the chinas held by there love. Trumeos well one

[TeenRomance]

Wow, amazing poem. Again I love how you highlighted with red. There's a lot of emotion in this poem. You're very talented.

[Linda Stinson]

The broken heart and the misery fore told, what can one say about it? I think you covered most, even the misery moment of acceptance, yet not. Very moving piece, thanks for the read request, it was definitely worth it.

[Fran Marie]

Everthing stood still in the silence


his loss the darkness mourns


as died a heart full of love


at the hands of hate filled thorns...


A most profound and poignant piece of writing with intense emotions

brought forth in vivid descriptives~Superb Pen!!

[Brianna Brie]

"His heart was truly shattered that night
he lost his vibrant soul
he swore to die with her memories
rather than just let go...."

This is deeply sad and it moves me so. Greatly illustrated emotions inked.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

wow. very good. you want to hear something kinda crazy? i wrote a story a couple days ago VERY SIMILAR to this one, about a man who hears those words goodbye from a woman he loved. wow, i wonder if we crafted our pieces at the very same time, like some kind of literary connection! no, jk. lol. now yu may have inspired me to post my short story/poem.

[Julia]

oh wow!! amazing!! complete genius!!!!i love this!!!! great work!! alot of imagery 2 work with and i can relate 2 this poem know this pain very well but thats not the point my point is that i love it an i want u 2 right more piz!!!!!