My bleeding heart...

All i am left with after writing this one...are tears, surging pain and aches...feels as thou am watching my own wrists slit through...and bleeding all the way

"He walks towards the door...
bleeding his heart over the floor...
she stands behind watching...
not a single word out calling..."

 

Standing in the rain,
getting drenched to the core,
each drop feeds on my pain,
the wounds afresh and pure...

My eyes they swell with tears,
the heart aches and longs for you,
haunting me were all my fears,
they won over me and came true...

You slammed the door of your heart,
leaving me all alone shattered,
in a fraction of a second, you just tore me apart,
with just thoughts in my mind and unanswered questions scattered...

You say I've changed...

I was never perfect,
but I tried hard to be...

I opened my heart to none,
but with you even that begun...

I was never the kind you wanted...
but now that i am...
you still got me haunted...

 

"numbness still brims over my soul...
blood feels ice cold...
am turning blue...
freezing with the loss of you..."

Reviews

[Fredrick Malkyor]

Dear Barricade,

I can feel the deep depression that is flowing out of the character like a waterfall of pain. No one is perfect, so why does everone try to be. Those who think that they are perfect is only seeing a mirage of their reflected selves. The only thing you can do is to just be your self in this matter.

Your Friend,

Fredrick Malkyor

[deeps]

You slammed the door of your heart,
leaving me all alone shattered,
in a fraction of a second, you just tore me apart,
with just thoughts in my mind and unanswered questions scattered

This is iis me, i have done this a time or two with myself.
I have slammed that door.
This is quite a powerful and emotional filled write
enjoyed.

[Just Plain Me]

*jaw drops* this is incredible! I don't even think that word is sufficient for what this is! I'm literally fumbling for words right now...and that almost never happens. wow...thats all i can think right now...wow.
Great Job...I mean, really great job

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Hmmm....I liked this piece of writing....
The way you have presented it is very interesting and appealing to the reader !

""numbness still brims over my soul...
blood feels ice cold...
am turning blue...
freezing with the loss of you..."" - I simply loved these closing lines the most, as according to me they were most descriptive and deep.

Writings like these are so heart wrenching that it becomes hard for the reader to not to relate with their own life and that's what I did while I read this extremely beautiful piece of writing....




Ps - "He walk towards the door...
bleeding his heart over the floor...
she stands behind watching...
not a single word out calling..." - I also loved these opening lines a lot,actually - "He walk towards the door...bleeding his heart over the floor..." is very well written , but - she stands behind watching...not a single word out calling" - This line is not at all going well with it, I'm sure you can come out with something much better than this.


Keep writing :)

[Brianna Brie]

"numbness still brims over my soul...
blood feels ice cold...
am turning blue...
freezing with the loss of you..."

Strong opening and closing verses, and I like them in color. Very nicely done. Full of emotion and tormented love. Really, really like the metaphor of a physical door slamming to represent a heart being closed off to making it work. Excellent!

[Vaishali..^_^]

wow wow wow...!!
itz just awesome...!
i can feel that pain in the writing which you was trying to show...!!
and you really did it very well...!!

and i also liked these lines very much..!

"I was never perfect,
but i tried hard to be...

I opened my heart to none,
but with you even that begun...

I was never the kind you wanted...
but now that i am...
you still got me haunted..."

great work..!!

[Fallen Angel]

Oh. oh. Oh. This is amazing. This is, this leaves me speechless.